Dear So and So

[mary9761]

dear people who for some reason or another seem to not like me anymore,
I honestly don't know what I did to earn your displeasure. If I offended you in some way, I wish you would have told me instead of giving me the cold shoulder. When I inquired to find out what happened, my correspondence remained unanswered. One day I thought we would be able to be in touch with each other, the next... gone.. poof with no explanation. I appreciate what you've done for me and miss communication with you.
Signed,
Confused

[Tuckervill]

You didn't need 'em anyway! Welcome back, Mary!

Karen

[Eden]

Dear thief,

It was so nice of you to find my wallet and phone and decide to use them rather than return them. It would have been oh so difficult to open my phone and call home in the phonebook, or to look at my drivers license and walk the 3 blocks to my house.

Too bad I figured out a way to get my phone # and minutes back (its a prepaid phone - not a plan) from you. I just took a call today from your storage unit company. I've been ignoring calls for you to this point, but since I answered it today I figured I'd tell them that you stole my phone and that it was useless to call that number to get you anymore. He told me that you gave my phone number as your primary contact and only have until the end of today to pay your rent or lose your stuff. I'd like to ask your friend who phoned me and called me a "stupid b*tch", who is the stupid one now?

Doesn't it sting when karma bites you on the butt....

[mimitabby]

Eden, is this a new wallet theft or the one that you told us about some months ago?

[Eden]

Eden, is this a new wallet theft or the one that you told us about some months ago?

Same one - she used my phone for several weeks before I'd gotten around to replacing it (its a prepaid and I ordered it off of the internet, so it took a few days to get to me too). I was very much surprised to find out when I activated the new phone that I could keep my old phone number and even have the minutes transferred (what was left at least) since the web site expressly said minutes from lost and/or stolen phones were not refundable. I also had not been in hurry because of this policy - had I known that it was not correct, I'd have replaced it much quicker, before she had a chance to use up a lot of my minutes.

For the first week or two I got a lot of calls from businesses looking for her to pay them (most of which I had no hesitation to informing them that she was a fraud and a thief and had given them the number from a stolen phone....) and from her delightful friends too.... most of it tailed off after that. Listening to all of the voice mail her loser friends left was pretty amusing.

[tulip]

Dear Ex,
I'm so glad that your life is turning around. Sometimes it takes a huge kick in the a$$ to grow up. Now you have a real job, a new (for you) car, and you even talk of hiring someone to clean your house. Don't you remember that I really wanted to hire someone to do the heavy cleaning because you wouldn't and I was working full time and didn't want spend my very few non-working hours scrubbing the kitchen floor? You said that it was a waste of money (well, if you had just gotten a job, that would not have been an issue, now would it?), that we could take care of it. We meaning me.

Despite your words, your actions showed in no uncertain terms that I was not worth much to you. And one more thing, bucco, there is absolutely no reason in the world to tell me that you cannot remember what I look like. Nearly 20 years together, and you don't remember what I look like, now that there says loud and clear that you didn't pay much attention while I was around. So lay off the guilt trip about me up and leaving. The hardest thing I've ever done, and the most important thing, too, for both of us.

Signed,
Your Finally Happy But Still Somewhat Stressed Out Soon To Be Ex (as soon as you deem it reasonable to sign just a few papers) Adoring Wife

[Flybye]

Dear So and So,

Tulip's letter reminds me of something. Please try to be clear when YOU indicate that WE can get something done. There are three choices:
#1 - WE meaning WE
#2 - WE meaning ME
#3 - WE meaning YOU

Please be more specific. It makes it easier for ME to say NO if YOU are using choice #2. I will almost always gladly say YES to options #1 and #2, but would like to have the opportunity to say no if I don't want to do it alone.

Thanks!!

Signed, WE #2 - aka ME

[Trek420]

Dear Eden cell-phone thief,

You are not only unethical but dumb, dumb, dumb. Now all Eden has to do (and or cops) is using reverse directory get listings on all the calls you made, and all the calls you got. With that info she (and or the cops) will soon show up at your door.

Dear SouthernBelle and anyone who gets sales calls of any sort,

www.donotcall.gov

You can register all your numbers, home, work, cell .... Once it has been on the registry for 31 days if they call you can file a complaint at this Website too and if they call, there are penalties.

Dear Oakleaf,

Hoping that no news is good news.

Dear Maya the dog. Welcome to the pack of TE gals and guys and their dogs. Enjoy, have an ear scritchie and a cookie. You've got a great pack now. Have fun being a dog. My mutt says "hi, it'll be okay. It's fun being a dog when you have great people".

Dear Trek's very own ex gf, brPHHHRffffttttt (sp?) Look what I got now

[carpaltunnel]

Dear New Department Head:

We just can't beleve that you would announce that you're contracting for three full days of training for the whole department in something we've been doing for years. AND before you even tried to obtain approval for the expenditure! What an insult - you come in and "Hmmm, I don't know anything about these people so they must not know anything." So we'll be happy to demonstrate that percieved ignorance to you the next time you ask for information.

[redrhodie]

Dear BF,

You are so lucky I caught you before you THREW AWAY that chocolate chip cookie. No, cookies do not go bad in 2 days. I'm the one who's going to eat it. If it's stale (which it's not!), I'll dunk it. Besides, it was a gift from your co-worker for ME. Hands off, especially if you're thinking it's trash.

Why don't you throw away some of those heals of bread you're always leaving on the counter, instead, if you're so anxious to throw stuff away.

Very truly yours,
Red

[Lifesgreat]

Dear neighbors of East Lawn Cemetery in Provo,

I almost stopped to talk to you as you walked up the hillside, returning to your home. You just finished walking your dog through the East Lawn Cemetery. While it slightly bothered me your leashed dog was in a cemetery, I became very unhappy when you turned it loose to run over graves and do dog-like things.

My family and I came to East Lawn to remember my deceased brother on his birthday. My grandparents and uncle are buried there too. There were other people there, honoring their dead. It was very disrespectful to have your dog running through the cemetery. You should know better.

[dex]

Dear (former) colleague,

I'm sorry you felt that my arrival, coupled with some recent changes within your organization, were some kind of threat to you. I was more than willing to help you learn the ins-and-outs of a role you weren't familiar with, but with every offer of advice or help you chose to meet me with aggressively bitter resistance. I can't help that now.

I've just heard that you resigned today. I wanted to wish you the best of luck, but you've chosen to ignore e-mails coming from my address. That's fine. I'll just wish it to you here instead.

Regards,
The New Girl On The Scene (who now gets to try to figure out what your intentions were with this product without the benefit of an actual conversation or knowledge transfer with you)

[Velobambina]

Dear Hanna

Be nice to us.

[pinkychique]

Dear father of my boyfriend,

It was rude of you to invite yourself to my first-ever world's race. In case you didn't notice, there was NO INVITATION on my part for you to come. Maybe (ya think?) because I didn't want you to come. Nor do I like that you felt that your slug of a son, brother to my boyfriend, who will not contribute anything worthwhile to this world, could come along as well. All he did was eat and sleep the whole time. And by what reasoning did you come to the conclusion that 4 of you and 2 of us leads to a 50/50 split in food costs? Maybe it's just because you're too self-centered and cheap to give up a few euros to umm, pay your fair share.

I would also like to point out that you're amazingly clingy. You act like my ex-boyfriend, the one I left because he had to follow me everywhere, and I had no time to myself. What I needed most in my race preparations was to be left alone! You also feel the need I have noticed for continuous reassurance that you're "better" in whatever way. And yes, my dad's pictures are better than yours. But then he doesn't go around showing every single one he's taken either. What, are you in kindergarten? Nobody needs 3 BMW's either, so why do you have 3? And why do you feel the need to have the coolest, latest gadget? If you could have the dedication to take care of one thing well, you wouldn't need to get all the little things nobody really needs.

What kind of horrible person are you to make your wife work 40 hours a week, AND do all the housework when you're a successful doctor who on your salary could easily cover everything financially? There's no need for your wife to work all that much. And I have NEVER seen you do the dishes once! Are you soap-and-water phobic?

One last thing. Nobody wants to be constantly lectured. I'm glad you think you know a lot. But really? I knew that the temperature of water up here at 5500 feet would never reach 212 F. I'm getting a degree in Mech Eng and BOTH my parents are engineers. I know my ****. I don't need to be taught it again. And by the way, you're wrong A LOT. And it doesn't take a brainiac to know what a distributor cap in an old car is.

And stop making Adrian and I feel like we're supposed to be getting married or something. Being together for...almost 2.5 years now does not mean we're engaged. I have dated for that long before, only to break up. You have no influence at all over anything that happens between he and I.

I have decided from now on to not visit you, and not tell you what I have qualified for or where I am racing. You're the last person I want there.

Sincerely,

Aubrey

[chicago]

Dear Mr President/CEO...

How is it that an employee near me reads the paper all day and has been doing this for 10 years I hear. I have been here in 3yrs and this man hardly works... yet he is still employed.

We hire contractors for a high premium to do extra work for us, but you are forking out probably $70K a year for this bum to sit and read the paper all day.

How does that work and can I have a job like that? How is it that managers see this and continue to turn their heads?