Thank you ladies so much for all of your kinds words, support, and sharing of your own lost beloveds. Not everyone in my real life world is so understanding. Your posts mean a lot to me. Also, it helps to know that I am not alone in my feelings.

It took me a bit to get back to the pc to respond. I have discovered that it is hard to be home, especially alone. DH took the children out to do some special activities they enjoy. Normally, this is my special home time with my furbaby. She liked to lay right by my feet at the computer chair. Wherever I went in the house, she was there. Now, she is no where. Physically of course. Her memories are thick. I stayed gone to get some long over due errands done. Even trying to find some receipts in my junk filing cabinet of a purse, there were the vet receipts for her care. Bleah.

I know the grieving process will take time. It's interesting when I have commented to people that I just had my dog put down in my saddened disposition. There are three camps: 1) get a new dog soon, it helps to fill the house empty void, even though there's no replacement for the one of kind personality of the lost dog; 2) wait until you fully grieve (not sure what they mean exactly) and then get a new dog, too soon causes more pain, and 3) never get a new dog to avoid going through this pain again.

Well, I can respect each individual position. Very personal choice. On #3, my GF that's a ca survivor says, "to chance is to live... you can't feel the pain of loss, without first having the blessing of love". That makes sense. I think it's worth it. #1 and #2 I'm mixed.

I do still have the contact information of the breeder we got her from. I also feel compeled to try and contact her to inform her of my furbaby's short life span. I don't know if her condition could be hereditary in any way. I'm thinking it was just her for whatever reason. But, I might call anyway. I'm not even sure if she still breeds. We had to travel to get my baby. Not a hasty decision.

I will take your words of wisdom in my heart as I try to heal.

Miranda