R.I.P. beloved bike guardian, euthanasia...

[Miranda]

Thank you ladies so much for all of your kinds words, support, and sharing of your own lost beloveds. Not everyone in my real life world is so understanding. Your posts mean a lot to me. Also, it helps to know that I am not alone in my feelings.

It took me a bit to get back to the pc to respond. I have discovered that it is hard to be home, especially alone. DH took the children out to do some special activities they enjoy. Normally, this is my special home time with my furbaby. She liked to lay right by my feet at the computer chair. Wherever I went in the house, she was there. Now, she is no where. Physically of course. Her memories are thick. I stayed gone to get some long over due errands done. Even trying to find some receipts in my junk filing cabinet of a purse, there were the vet receipts for her care. Bleah.

I know the grieving process will take time. It's interesting when I have commented to people that I just had my dog put down in my saddened disposition. There are three camps: 1) get a new dog soon, it helps to fill the house empty void, even though there's no replacement for the one of kind personality of the lost dog; 2) wait until you fully grieve (not sure what they mean exactly) and then get a new dog, too soon causes more pain, and 3) never get a new dog to avoid going through this pain again.

Well, I can respect each individual position. Very personal choice. On #3, my GF that's a ca survivor says, "to chance is to live... you can't feel the pain of loss, without first having the blessing of love". That makes sense. I think it's worth it. #1 and #2 I'm mixed.

I do still have the contact information of the breeder we got her from. I also feel compeled to try and contact her to inform her of my furbaby's short life span. I don't know if her condition could be hereditary in any way. I'm thinking it was just her for whatever reason. But, I might call anyway. I'm not even sure if she still breeds. We had to travel to get my baby. Not a hasty decision.

I will take your words of wisdom in my heart as I try to heal.

Miranda

[Blueberry]

Miranda -

I think you'll know when the time is right to consider another furbaby. I would call the breeder when you feel able - she should know. It may help you to talk to her about other litters, but I wouldn't rush in. You'll know when the time is right. Fully done with grieving - no. I still cry sometimes. But I'm starting to remember the happy times more than the sad, and I'm starting to think of another baby. For me, it will be a different breed. I saw a pup in the mall in someone's lap last week who looked just like my Cricket, and just about broke down. Trust yourself, and don't rush into it. Your heart will tell you.

CA

[jesvetmed]

Miranda ... I am so sorry. It sounds like you made the right decision for her, and that you are at peace with it-- even though it is so extremely difficult.

Thanks for the beautiful posting... it still is bringing tears to my eyes. What an absolute beautiful photo of her swimming... my dog and I have a similar spot, and I've had the same thoughts about when she is gone... there is no where else I could think of more appropriate to spread her ashes than at the swimming hole. She lives for that trip up the trail.

I hope your sadness lessens and you have the happy memories of your good days together. Take Care.

[BlueVet11]

I am so sorry Miranda. You did the right thing, and time will heal. You will never replace her, and don't think just because you got another dog you are replacing her. That was my husbands fear when we got a new dog after we lost our Bernese mtn dog. He felt like he was replacing him. Our dogs have a new place in our hearts, but we will never forget our berner.

You will know when you are ready for another dog. What happened with me is my dogs found me. I was ready, my husband was not and I found a dog in bad shape and we ended up keeping her. Same thing with the next one.

The pictures you posted of your girl are beautiful as are things you said about her. I agree that it will be very fitting to bring her back to her favorite swimming spot.

[rij73]

Oh my... just read this post and am crying. You absolutely did the right thing, and I can tell that your sweetie was very well loved. Bless you for giving her a happy life and a peaceful death. It is what I wish for all the animals of the world.

Hang in there and know that there are lots of us who know the pain of losing a beloved companion. Hugs to you...

EDIT: Just read the more recent post about the conflict of whether to get another dog. I too think you will know when it is time. When you are ready, I highly recommend adopting a dog in need from a shelter or foster home. It eliminates the worry and second-guessing about genetics. You would give a loving home to a dog who is already in the world and has had a rough time. There is nothing in my life I have ever felt better about than giving a warm, loving home to my Hudson. He was a parasite-ridden, mangey, mutt, and now he lives like a prince. It's a great thing to do for another being in need, especially when you are in pain.

[hermitclub]

Miranda,

I'm so sorry for your loss but your baby is now at peace and can run and jump and swim with all those that have already crossed over the rainbow bridge. With regard to your post about when to get another dog, the decision is very personal. You are right about the 3 choices. As for #3, what's that saying - better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?

When I lost my dog Rufus in December and then my cat Kitty Carlisle in February, I cried so many tears I didn't think I had any left. Too much loss and pain in less than two months. I said that I would never adopt another pet because I couldn't bear the pain of losing them. My position has changed. I still haven't adopted, but now I know that when the right dog comes along (and/or cat), they will choose me and I them.

My neighbor lost her yellow lab, grieved for a few weeks, then contacted her Willow's breeder and adopted Stella from Willow's Mom.
Like I said, the choice is very personal. Your heart will tell you what to do.

Sending good wishes and strength your way.

[sundial]

Wherever I went in the house, she was there. Now, she is no where. Her memories are thick. I know the grieving process will take time. I do still have the contact information of the breeder we got her from.

When I lost my beloved Ana, I contacted her breeder and chatted with her that very day. The breeder was so moved by my loss that she checked with another breeder friend to see if there was a female german shepherd available. We drove 13 hours in one day to get Kali. I was so nervous thinking about how I would react to a puppy. But as soon as we saw Kali, there was simply no comparison and she immediately lifted my spirits.

I know that getting another dog just days after we lost our first gsd was the right thing to do. It was hard seeing an empty bed, an empty bowl, and her medicine sitting on the counter. As I let the dogs out each morning, I kept waiting for the second one to come back in. We were already into a routine of caring for a feeble senior dog and getting into a puppy routine was a natural transition for us. So we added our funny little girl to the pack. She and I would go visit Ana's grave every day and I'd tell Ana what silly things the puppy did that day. As the days passed, our visits grew infrequent. By the third month, I rarely visited the site where the dogwood was planted over her grave. Kali simply mended a broken heart.

You will know when the time is right. For some, it may be a week, a month or even years. For others, the pain of losing one so special is too great that they choose to never be hurt again by another pet. I have felt that there is only one really bad day, and it is outweighed by the many wonderful moments spent with my little friend.

Perhaps as a tribute you can plant a dogwood or a beautiful rose bush in the garden. Every spring it will serve as a reminder of rebirth and renewal and the promise of hope.