Yes, carbon is quite strong, but when it fails it can fail rather suddenly and spectacularly (some poor fellow took a face plant in a different field at a race I was in when his carbon front fork failed and I'm guessing he wasn't a huge guy either), so I think its one of those things that you have to decide if you are up to taking that risk.... When you are rather large having a bike that weighs 24 lbs instead of 18 isn't going to make that huge a difference to your ride, so perhaps better to stick to stronger materials at first. Not to mention that no company will honor a guarantee for a broken frame if you are over the weight limit that they set.
That's not to say that aluminum and even steel cannot fail. My husband cracked a lugged steel frame, but steel will at least usually give you some warnings before it goes completely.
btw I don't think a cross bike is a bad idea. They aren't too much heavier than racing bikes (probably in the same weight range as touring bikes), but they are still sturdy. They are made to take off road punishment (and frequent falls), so they tend to come with sturdy wheels and the components tend to be made for relatively easy maintenance and to take a beating without failing. (oh and a slightly higher end one will come with disc brakes which may be much appreciated by a larger rider)



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