RR - I'm so sorry for your loss. I've asked my special fur babies at the rainbow bridge to welcome him and show him around.

Please let yourself grieve. It's so very important to give yourself time to get through this. Sure, he loved to see you happy, but he wouldn't want you to hurt yourself just to please him. Pretending that we're not hurting from grief and just "getting on with life" can hurt as much as getting back in the saddle and training hard can when we aren't well enough healed from an injury, or well enough recovered from over training.

Spend time remembering him, give yourself over to the tears, find a wonderful way to memorialize him. At some point you will feel that lump in your throat turn into a warm spot in your heart and you'll laugh when you think of him again. It's different for everyone so don't try to rush through it.

And think of butterflies. I'm sending you lots of wonderful ones to calm your heart, heal your body, and soothe your mind.

Hugs, too,
~T~