My Sister-In-law, in spite of 15 years of marriage and 4 kids, only knew how to make hamburgers and pot roast, and she called to ask how to make a turkey dinner. I talked while she took notes...I thought. Thanksgiving day we went to her house for dinner. She was rightfully very proud of the beautiful brown bird in the oven. She had decided to cook the dressing in a crock pot so she dished that up while I cut up the turkey and made the gravy. As I lifted it out of the pan, two used bandaids (like they had been wrapped around somebody's fingers )fell out of the cavity. I asked, "Did you lose a couple bandaids when you washed the turkey?"
"Washed it?" she said...


I make what I call zuchinni pie, it has vegetables, cream, cheese, spices, and eggs. My sister in law, who doesn't cook, asked for the recipe, then got back to me and asked how I kept the filling from oozing out of the pan. (She even bought one of those special pans, what do they call them?) I thought, "Gee, maybe you rolled the crust too thin?"
"Crust?" she said...

Now one on me:
Before Memorial day one year I bought one of those giant bags of potato chips that are in the stores on special weekends. It was sitting on the counter too close to the stove and the very end of it caught fire. I grabbed it by the OTHER end and started through the kitchen and family room toward the back door, thinking I could get it outside before it got too bad. The faster I walked, the faster the bag burned, away from the chips, leaving them hanging in the air briefly before the fell to the floor leaving a trail of chips that I was running through on my way to the door. Because I was part way there and couldn't turn back, right? 10 or 15 steps that seemed to last half an hour. By the time I got to the back door and threw the remainder out, there wasn't much left to toss, and I'd walked through and crushed most of them on the way, and we didn't have chips with our Memorial Day picnic.

PS Potato Chips are mostly fat and some of them burned, too, so my boys were following me putting them out. And boy did Mr. Safety Nut chew on me when he got home from work and heard about it.