Dealing with a workplace bully!!! Long post.

[sundial]

I worked for a boss that was very much like yours. He was a Marine and tried to run our department like a drill sargeant. He was also a micro manager. He would stand in the parking lot right as we left for lunch so that he could time us. One time I was late getting back from lunch by 2 minutes and he marched me down to Human Resources and demanded I take 2 minutes off my vacation time. Never mind I was always at work 30 minutes early every morning. He locked us in meetings. In one meeting I, along with other department heads, took a vote. I happened to vote opposite of my boss and he growled at me, making me feel like a traitor. Another time I disagreed with him in a meeting and he went ballistic and demanded I meet him in his office. When I sat in his office, he got right in my face and screamed. I just sat there silent, waiting for him to pop a vessel, and that made him even angrier. He had eyes and ears in his department and they reported to him. I could not trust the Human Resource person either.

I left. That job was of no value to me, my career, and most importantly, my health.

My advice to you is to do some soul searching and ask yourself if working in a hostile environment is really doing you or your career any favors. It's only going to affect you, your health, and your marriage--and not in a positive way. Good luck and I wish you well. I know what you are going through.

[greenme]

I haven't had quite the same experience but a few less drastic ones but in the same vain and have found that sometimes simply standing up for yourself or others can be surprisingly successful.

I've also noticed that if you can speak to these people the same way they speak to you, you will NOT offend them. They don't recognize their behaviour as hurtful and so aren't hurt when you talk like them.

If you have the fortitude, next/each time this happens in your presence, immediately step up to this guy and say something like "Do not speak to me/us like this again". Also, move in one inch closer than you normally would. (If it's safe).

I think most people need to be trained like dogs. Simple communication "Do this", and repetition. He may not change but he will know that you are not going to take this anymore.

When I've had a problem at work, HR/management always want you to speak to the person first. Ugh.

Good Luck!

[spokewench]

I haven't had quite the same experience but a few less drastic ones but in the same vain and have found that sometimes simply standing up for yourself or others can be surprisingly successful.

I've also noticed that if you can speak to these people the same way they speak to you, you will NOT offend them. They don't recognize their behaviour as hurtful and so aren't hurt when you talk like them.

If you have the fortitude, next/each time this happens in your presence, immediately step up to this guy and say something like "Do not speak to me/us like this again". Also, move in one inch closer than you normally would. (If it's safe).

I think most people need to be trained like dogs. Simple communication "Do this", and repetition. He may not change but he will know that you are not going to take this anymore.

When I've had a problem at work, HR/management always want you to speak to the person first. Ugh.

Good Luck!

I'm with Greenme

But, you probably would not do what I would do and that is confront him to his face that he is being bullying and childish and that he needs to stop. I've never been afraid to get fired, however. I will not be treated like a doorstop.

spoke