I worked for a boss that was very much like yours. He was a Marine and tried to run our department like a drill sargeant. He was also a micro manager. He would stand in the parking lot right as we left for lunch so that he could time us. One time I was late getting back from lunch by 2 minutes and he marched me down to Human Resources and demanded I take 2 minutes off my vacation time. Never mind I was always at work 30 minutes early every morning. He locked us in meetings. In one meeting I, along with other department heads, took a vote. I happened to vote opposite of my boss and he growled at me, making me feel like a traitor. Another time I disagreed with him in a meeting and he went ballistic and demanded I meet him in his office. When I sat in his office, he got right in my face and screamed. I just sat there silent, waiting for him to pop a vessel, and that made him even angrier. He had eyes and ears in his department and they reported to him. I could not trust the Human Resource person either.

I left. That job was of no value to me, my career, and most importantly, my health.

My advice to you is to do some soul searching and ask yourself if working in a hostile environment is really doing you or your career any favors. It's only going to affect you, your health, and your marriage--and not in a positive way. Good luck and I wish you well. I know what you are going through.