Quote Originally Posted by oxysback View Post
You've gotten some great suggestions!

The only thing I'd add (maybe as a last resort) is to make sure the end destination is a fun place, like the park or a stop for some ice cream. If that didn't work, I'd go so far as to have your hubby or son call from the destination on a cell phone to make sure your daughter knew what fun she was missing out on or how delicious the ice cream tasted. You know, really play it up so next time she won't want to miss out on wherever you're riding to. But really hammer the idea home that she won't be able to go unless she wears her 'big girl helmet'.

Let us know how it goes!
I like that.

It doesn't sound to me like she's developmentally ready to make the decision to wear the helmet for a goal in the future, though (too young). It's is my experience that behaviors and schemas completely flip-flopped or disappeared altogether in the space of three months or less. Rather than put her through all the screaming and fussing and anger, I'd just not take her for a few a weeks or months until the trauma of it subsides, and she can see it differently. That means mom or dad will have to be willing to stay home with her while the other pair gets to ride. That's okay. You're meeting your child's need, even when it conflicts with your own. (Isn't that was parenting is?)

Also, whenever I have conflict with my children, the conflict is usually rooted in one of two forces that are putting pressure on one or both of us: time or money. Time coercion is what causes drivers to speed past us on our bikes, screaming and cursing. Money coercion is what makes us frustrated when we can't afford that Salsa in the window.

The great thing with children, is that time is all we really have with them, even though it is limited and precious. I don't really have to make my child wear a helmet against his will if he's not ready. I'd rather spend that time doing more pleasant things until he is. If he agreed to wear the helmet and then couldn't keep it on for the whole ride--it'd be okay. I'd just turn around and go home, giving him a happy anticipation of doing something else fun together at home. I have found that when I meet their needs, they're more likely to be willing to meet those of others, too, including mine. Eventually. I'm a grown-up. I can do without until then, in the interest of growing selfless children.

Karen