It is hard, hard hard and I wish you luck with how you deal with "living with impending death" I too am dealing with these sorts of things now too. I have two brothers in law who have stage 4 colon cancer and my father is 90 and the one kidney he now has is not functioning very well so his time is limited too.

I just make sure that I am available to anyone in the family that wants to talk. I am open and accepting of the limits that being sick and taking care of the sick present for the closest people involved. You must be upbeat but not unrealistic and live the moments that you have with them with candor and joy. Do not treat them like they are dead already. It is so easy to try to avoid talking about the issues of death and sometimes to avoid the person who is ill; but mostly just be there, be open, be honest, don't be afraid to ask questions and offer your understanding and sympathy. None of us can truly understand what it is like unless we are in the situation ourselves, but we can do the best we can by being there to talk to and help.

Hang in there. That is what we all do