Help Getting Daughter to wear Helmet

[lattelover]

Oh my gosh, yes! We all wear helmets. Hubby is a former racer. Son has worn a helmet since being in the burley. He never had a problem with it. Loved it from the minute we got it for him.

I like the idea of decorating it, but she's still a bit young to grasp that concept. I guss a Dora helmet might do the trick. Maybe we'll go shopping after nap time...

Thanks for the tips, and keep 'em coming!

Cyndie

[Irulan]

I guess I'm the evil mom. At our house, she'd be given a choice. She wants to come, she wears a helmet, period. Or, the other choice is stay with the baby sitter ( get the not-fun one)

Another tough love option. Buckle her in screaming and all, and she will either get distracted by the ride and/or fall asleep. She'd probably either get used to it after that or cease to complain.

[Flybye]

I guess I'm the evil mom. At our house, she'd be given a choice. She wants to come, she wears a helmet, period. Or, the other choice is stay with the baby sitter ( get the not-fun one)

Another tough love option. Buckle her in screaming and all, and she will either get distracted by the ride and/or fall asleep. She'd probably either get used to it after that or cease to complain.

I would try persuasion for about 5 minutes and then go for Irulan's technique. I'd even go as far as to leave her screaming in the driveway while we rode off (like a total of 20 feet) to help her understand. Then I'd put her on the bike and the second she started fussing, take her off, put her down, and head out again. It will only take 3-4 times of this and she'll get the idea. I would ONLY do this in a no traffic area, of course. We are near the end of a dead end street.

I teach parenting courses on occasion, and I tend to find that if we try to hard to please a fussy kid, we end up teaching them that their crying behavior can be a way to manipulate adults to get what they want. Having said that, each child is so different. Some you can reason with, some you can persuade, and some are just more strong willed. It is the strong willed ones who really figure out that the crying and fussing is a great way to manipulate events to go their way. Just ask me - I was one spoiled hombre!

One other thing that came to mind is to get a doll/stuffed animal and put the helmet on it before it gets on the bike with her. She's pretty little, but might understand that the doll/animal needs it to be safe, just like her.

[mimitabby]

Flybye, YOU ROCK!

great ideas!

[oxysback]

You've gotten some great suggestions!

The only thing I'd add (maybe as a last resort) is to make sure the end destination is a fun place, like the park or a stop for some ice cream. If that didn't work, I'd go so far as to have your hubby or son call from the destination on a cell phone to make sure your daughter knew what fun she was missing out on or how delicious the ice cream tasted. You know, really play it up so next time she won't want to miss out on wherever you're riding to. But really hammer the idea home that she won't be able to go unless she wears her 'big girl helmet'.

Let us know how it goes!

[Kano]

When the helmet is on, ride.

When she escapes from the helmet, stop and put it back on.

Xander (grandson) was a little older than your daughter when we started him with a bike helmet. He thought it was great fun to wear a helmet like Grandpa, and ride in the trailer. He DID try to take it off a couple of times, though, and when he did, we stopped the ride.

Rion didn't like the helmet at all when we got him a helmet. He was outraged about the whole idea too. He was younger than your daughter at the time. Recently, we got a couple of bikes at a garage sale to have around here for the boys to ride on when they're visiting. It's easier than having to schlep bikes over to the house for the day! Anyway, Rion was pretty excited about the "hemet" and wanted to put it on himself. He also wanted to do the "seatbelt" himself. (well, it IS like the seatbelts in shopping carts!)

He won't get on the bike yet, but he'll push it around the driveway wearing his helmet, giving his favorite stuffed monkey a ride!

Maybe it's just an age thing -- when she's ready, she'll be ready!

Karen in Boise

[Tuckervill]

You've gotten some great suggestions!

The only thing I'd add (maybe as a last resort) is to make sure the end destination is a fun place, like the park or a stop for some ice cream. If that didn't work, I'd go so far as to have your hubby or son call from the destination on a cell phone to make sure your daughter knew what fun she was missing out on or how delicious the ice cream tasted. You know, really play it up so next time she won't want to miss out on wherever you're riding to. But really hammer the idea home that she won't be able to go unless she wears her 'big girl helmet'.

Let us know how it goes!

I like that.

It doesn't sound to me like she's developmentally ready to make the decision to wear the helmet for a goal in the future, though (too young). It's is my experience that behaviors and schemas completely flip-flopped or disappeared altogether in the space of three months or less. Rather than put her through all the screaming and fussing and anger, I'd just not take her for a few a weeks or months until the trauma of it subsides, and she can see it differently. That means mom or dad will have to be willing to stay home with her while the other pair gets to ride. That's okay. You're meeting your child's need, even when it conflicts with your own. (Isn't that was parenting is?)

Also, whenever I have conflict with my children, the conflict is usually rooted in one of two forces that are putting pressure on one or both of us: time or money. Time coercion is what causes drivers to speed past us on our bikes, screaming and cursing. Money coercion is what makes us frustrated when we can't afford that Salsa in the window.

The great thing with children, is that time is all we really have with them, even though it is limited and precious. I don't really have to make my child wear a helmet against his will if he's not ready. I'd rather spend that time doing more pleasant things until he is. If he agreed to wear the helmet and then couldn't keep it on for the whole ride--it'd be okay. I'd just turn around and go home, giving him a happy anticipation of doing something else fun together at home. I have found that when I meet their needs, they're more likely to be willing to meet those of others, too, including mine. Eventually. I'm a grown-up. I can do without until then, in the interest of growing selfless children.

Karen

[ilima]

Or, the other choice is stay with the baby sitter ( get the not-fun one)

I like this option. Gives the kid a choice.

When I was a kid (like 2-3 years old), I refused to go to bed and wanted to stay up. My parents decided fine, I could stay up, but then promptly went to bed themselves. Not too long after, they heard the pitter patter of my feet heading down the hall to my bedroom.

Perhaps if the helmet is uncomfortable, you could also take her helmet shopping and try them on. Would a cap or bandana underneath make it more comfortable for her?

Please note the following disclaimer--I own two dogs and have no kids.

[nic840]

I had the same problem with my now 2.5 year old. When she was around your daughter's age we went to the local LBS and let her pick out her own helmet. It made a difference because it was her own and not a handme down from her sister. She felt some pride and ownership in it...

All the other suggestions are on point. There is no option to not wearing it...wear it or stay home. You and your son head out on a ride while she stays with Dad or a neighbor. It will make a point. Its amazing how fast they will come around as long as you are consistant.

I am sure you have tried the snacks, books, etc....
You might try making a list of things she has to find on a ride... bird, red car, leaf, Truck, Flag, garbage can, etc.... I used to make lists and draw the pictures next to the word so she knew what she was looking for. Works for scavenger hunts too. Hope it all works out! She will be riding two wheels in no time!
My youngest (2.5) just got on the 12in. w/ training wheels...no stopping her now! Have fun!