Are you stupid? (parenting teens)

[Miranda]

Thx you for your responses thus far. I know I'm not alone in the world of parenting teens, but it sometimes is nice to hear others experiences. It helps. I will check out the book titels suggested. We have not had any direct name calling to me, more like, "oh my gosh... MOM!!!...". Because I'm so "weird". My own mother always told me I was special, but she never clarified as to how. I take pride in that "weirdness". She will also say, "Oh, mom, you just don't understand, blab blab".

I try to intervene with the sibling situation. That is a tough one. I have explained to her before, when she has complained that her younger brother won't "leave her alone", that he looks up to her. She's the oldest, her brother follows her lead, etc. Makes me get tears almost, but hear lately, DS has even started saying to her that he loves her. When not fighting of course. I tell DS that DD needs some of her own space. DS really loves to ride his bike. Bonus prize: can't imagine where he gets that from. DS and I have been spinning around the neighborhood a bit more alone.

My own mother was pretty embarrassing for a while. Then she became the most wise woman I knew later.

[kelownagirl]

I've been stupid twice, and just starting up my third round now. My older two are 23 and 25 now and I like them again if it's any consolation.

Barbara Coloroso's book is awesome as well.

[Crankin]

I got through the teen years fairly easily with my sons (23 and 25). I think I did it by always being brutally honest with them. We were strict about things other parents didn't care about and very liberal in most things that others would never allow their kids to do. My kids were going into Harvard Square on the train and hanging out when they were 14 or 15. I knew some parents that used to follow behind their kids and watch everything they did when they went out. I also think teaching middle school and high school gave me a perspective of seeing the whole range of adolescent development. And, I knew it would pass...
Of course when the younger one was in HS, he was too busy and tired from racing to do anything bad and the older one was a bit wussy and afraid of consequences. They both could NEVER surpass any of the stuff I did as a teen in the 60's and early 70's.

[Jen-Jen]

I was the eldest in the family and we use to kick the snot out of each other! My sisters,brother and I did name calling and a lot of good 'ol fashion beatdowns!

Things used included flyswatters and wooden spoons. We would roll up newpaper and run tape around it till it was a solid stick that didn't flex. We would remove the ball off of the paddle balls that my parents would buy us to play with.

I've had 1 or 2 of my 10 earring removed a time or two.

And you know what to this day my sisters: Renee and Lori and baby brother: Neil are my best friends and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them.

What can I say, "We're country."

[kelownagirl]

Forgot to add also that I'm 'mean". In fact, for years I planned to get a t-shirt that said "Meanest Mom in the World"

[kelownagirl]

I got through the teen years fairly easily with my sons (23 and 25). I think I did it by always being brutally honest with them. We were strict about things other parents didn't care about and very liberal in most things that others would never allow their kids to do. My kids were going into Harvard Square on the train and hanging out when they were 14 or 15. I knew some parents that used to follow behind their kids and watch everything they did when they went out. I also think teaching middle school and high school gave me a perspective of seeing the whole range of adolescent development. And, I knew it would pass...
Of course when the younger one was in HS, he was too busy and tired from racing to do anything bad and the older one was a bit wussy and afraid of consequences. They both could NEVER surpass any of the stuff I did as a teen in the 60's and early 70's.

Very true for me as well.