I'm lost and need some direction forward

[shootingstar]

sorry CC...I'll give a better answer offline...I hope though running around to pack to go on vacation after work tomorrow..

Am distracted by phone call from partner who just finished cycling-conquering a mountain pass this evening, in the rain on his way to the interior B.C.

Am trying to make this cycling related...eventually.

[crazycanuck]

Mimi-I understand what you're saying and my job isn't my life.

All of the friends in our social circles have good careers plus good cyclists and I want that as well. I don't get why I can't have that or be that!

I am embarassed to say what I do for work as it's unimportant and it's not a career position.

I do understand that nothing's guaranteed in life!!

[LBTC]

As usual, I see both sides of the work / life coin. I totally see Mimi's idea, and have lived it and benefited from it greatly. This month I made a leap and am starting with a new exciting firm with fabulous technology and likely a very bright and prosperous future.

The job happened because a guy I worked with recommended me to his friend. And I guess when I worked with that guy he was impressed with my abilities, even though I was way below capacity because I was so sick.

What am I trying to say? I think that the answer will be clear to you when you are ready for it. Keep doing your research, keep asking questions, finding out about courses, etc, but know that you will not see where the path leads when you take the next step (you've already taken the first one by starting your research). Be open to what the universe offers. And be prepared to take a risk.

I'm sending you lots of butterflies. Watch for them, they may help you find the answer!

Hugs, too
~T~

[mimitabby]

I can appreciate your dilemma. I'm just saying, happiness comes from within, whether you are a brain surgeon or the guy who wheels the patients out of surgery (like someone we know) or a dirt farmer or a corporate exec. The job, the career won't make you happy. You have to do that.

and good luck with your career. I see young people like you and I always hope you find that something that helps you make a difference.

[wannaduacentury]

CC, i have to give you my left-handed perspective. I'm a few years from retiring from a job where i don't utilize more than 5% of my talents. I have a job that is boring, pays well, is secure, good benefits. I figured out a long time that jobs earn you money, but they don't feed your soul. (for me) I spent so much time in the first 15 years of working trying to figure out what the "right" job was for me. Hmm, yes, the right job would be city of Seattle goat breeder?

Then i sat down and talked to my DH's 75 year old uncle.
he said "I never did figure out what i wanted to be when i grew up!" That's when i quit worrying about it.

200 years ago, no one worried about getting joy from jobs. you worked to stay alive. we kind of still do. I get my jollies from lots of stuff. my job keeps me flush.. life is good. i am happy, fulfilled, but my job is just a small part of my life.

good luck.

"I never did figure out what i wanted to be when i grew up!"

I agree with your uncle Mimi. Also "Work to Live, not Live to work" theory keeps me sane. It's easy to get caught up in. Besides the average adult has several careers before retiring anyhow.

So CC, do research, volunteer as an apprentice in something you're interested in. My dh got into libraries by doing project jobs and went in the back door that way(he did public an academic libr) I'm following in his footsteps that way( btw I'm 35 too), while finishing my degree. Libraries in my area are jobs to keep, you either have to die or quit for an opening b/c folks just don't leave. Jenn

[Geonz]

On the other hand, my job is a *very* fulfilling part of my life. Every minute of every hour, we're having our little effect on the universe, and if some planning can steer us towards the work hours having a salubrious effect on it and ourselves, it's worth working at.
It's not worth goin' nuts over the infinite parts we can't control, of course

I love love love books ... but I would be miserable as a librarian (well, perhaps there *might* be a weird niche job somewhere). Lots of my friends are librarians and it involves ORGANIZING information and keepin' track of lots of stuff at the same time I'm afraid ... I'd be reading when I should be working...

When I was in my 30's I found an absolutely excellent job suited to my skills and temperament teaching at a small private school. Except it wasn't *really.* And... it was the fourth attempt. I had to go at the "what do you want to do" question knowing "and it might not be what you *think* you want to do?"

_What Color Is Your Parachute_ by Bolles helped with some neat exercises in discovering the kinds of situations I perform well in and find satisfying. There were some major surprises.

It's a weird economy so security matters... but be a little daring

[TahoeDirtGirl]

I really enjoyed reading this thread. When I graduated college in 2000 at the age of 30 I thought that real life was going to begin, and that employers would be knocking down my doors and I would be using what I learned and making great money. HA. What I didn't realize is that we are on these paths (bike paths!) that when I am on it, everything feels *right*..when I veer off of them..it feels *wrong*.

Like others said, investigate and be open. You might find some shade of librarian work that you really like and don't dismiss it. I don't think we ever grow up or stop learning. That is the important part. I was in the same position that you were in when I decided I wanted to go into something more athletic, like personal training. I am going to sit for my exam in August and I now have a Sports Management degree. It took a long time to get from here to there but I learned alot. Not ready to just quit my engineering consulting job and jump into it but I realize that I can transition into it at some point of my life. Just keep looking around like others said and be careful what you wish for

[shootingstar]

I can appreciate your dilemma. I'm just saying, happiness comes from within, whether you are a brain surgeon or the guy who wheels the patients out of surgery (like someone we know) or a dirt farmer or a corporate exec. The job, the career won't make you happy. You have to do that.

It is true --how one views their job to earn money.

I think it also depends on the level of "risk" that one wishes to/can afford to take to try something different also.

And "risk" is something combined with unpredictable life opportunities in terms of timing in one's life, how one hears about certain jobs or just being at right time, right place.

I also believe that there are many types of jobs people aren't aware of their existence.

One thing for certain, I am so glad I never worked for 1 employer for the past 1/4 century. For myself, I would have become a more cocooning type. I'm the type of person that needs to parachute myself into completely different workplace cultures over time, without much advance planning. I'm a better person in general for this.

If I know too much in advance, if I plan too much in decision-making for my life's journey ...I end up procrastinating way too long...

What I can say in general for the path I have taken work-wise...is I have learned SO MUCH ..not the book facts, but how people think and try to problem-solve in different ways, how different subject disciplines intersect/interconnect one another, etc. and how to hone one's brain to razor sharp alertness to think simultaneously in a logical but creative way in a very limited time period. Often people observing what you are doing.

And how to learn to be imperfect in front of group of people --with flair and curious confidence to pursue right answer in front of them.

[tulip]

When I stopped caring about the work I was doing, I knew it was time to move on. I admire those people like Mimi who can just do their job and not worry about it. I can't. It's what I do for most of my waking hours. It has to have meaning for me; otherwise, it feels like a waste (to me).

It's been 10 months since I left DC and started working from home as a consultant to non-profits developing affordable housing for people with special needs. I'm enjoying my work and my balanced life. Of course there are other options; there is not just one right answer. I want to do more garden design (paid) and get involved (preferably paid) in bicycle planning with the city (when they get their act together, that is), and maybe teach teach city planning or landscape design at a local college as adjunct faculty. I also want to teach pilates and kayaking, but I need some credentials for those two.

I took a paycut, but I also moved to a more reasonable city.

It took me a long time to make the move, but I'm glad I did. I can always go back and get a corporate or public-sector job in my field if consulting doesn't work out. But I have lots of projects currently to keep me busy (and interested) for the foreseeable future.

That's just my story. Everyone is different. I think that we know when it's time to change. It's just a matter of listening.

[mimitabby]

When I stopped caring about the work I was doing, I knew it was time to move on. I admire those people like Mimi who can just do their job and not worry about it. I can't. It's what I do for most of my waking hours. It has to have meaning for me; otherwise, it feels like a waste (to me).

It's been 10 months since I left DC and started working from home as a consultant to non-profits developing affordable housing for people with special needs. I'm enjoying my work and my balanced life. Of course there are other options; there is not just one right answer. I want to do more garden design (paid) and get involved (preferably paid) in bicycle planning with the city (when they get their act together, that is), and maybe teach teach city planning or landscape design at a local college as adjunct faculty. I also want to teach pilates and kayaking, but I need some credentials for those two.

I took a paycut, but I also moved to a more reasonable city.

It took me a long time to make the move, but I'm glad I did. I can always go back and get a corporate or public-sector job in my field if consulting doesn't work out. But I have lots of projects currently to keep me busy (and interested) for the foreseeable future.

That's just my story. Everyone is different. I think that we know when it's time to change. It's just a matter of listening.

Tulip, i think what you are doing is awesome. I've just seen too many people with such expectations; expectations that no job could fulfill.
I'm glad everyone isn't like me!

[tulip]

Tulip, i think what you are doing is awesome. I've just seen too many people with such expectations; expectations that no job could fulfill.
I'm glad everyone isn't like me!

Thanks, Mimi. I like my job, but it isn't perfect. The thing I like most about it is that it's flexible. I can work from just about anywhere. No cubicles! I work in cafes, in my apartment, at my friends house on the Chesapeake Bay...even on the train. My time is mine to determine how I'll use it. I have to be vigilant, though, about not working too much and not slacking off too much.

I would like to do work in Europe (I tried to live and work there, but just could not get a job with my US education). So I've come to terms that I will visit. Perhaps someday I will be able to live there, but for now, visiting will have to do. Theoretically, I can do my current job from Europe, aside from the occasional meetings and site visits. So perhaps next year I'll do that for a few months.

I sometimes toy with doing bicycle planning. I interviewed for such a job last year, but it was in DC and for all sorts of reasons I was ready to leave there. As a bit of compensation, I always add a bike rack to our apartment projects, and one of these days I'm going to get it together to donate some bikes to the residents. Most don't have cars and biking is a good option for getting around. I also indicate bike paths on the transit maps that I create (for funding grant applications)

I'd also like to do more design work, but I do get to work with architects. I did a landscape plan for one of my projects that is now under construction. Hopefully there won't be any surprises during construction that will mess with the budget, as landscaping is the first to get cut. If that one turns out well, then I will use it to market those skills. It's all drought-tolerant and non-invasive plants; not just lawn and shrubs like most senior housing projects.

I'm the defacto tech support for our tiny company of three people in two states. Me as tech support is kinda funny. Learn as you go! I figured out how to set up a remote server, whoo-hoo! In my budding tech role, I want to start a blog and make my website more active and interesting. Right now it's pretty static.

All that with 25 projects in the pipeline, I'm busy...but I'm having a great time. I'm able to incorporate my interests into alot of the work that I do. Plus, helping people, albeit indirectly, is important to me.

The lessons that I have learned are that can incorporate my interests and talents into my work now because I'm in charge of my time and projects; whereas I had a harder time doing interesting things when I worked for a big firm (even though it was a prestigious design and planning firm--I had gotten pigeon-holed into one small segment of the market and I couldn't get out and remain with the firm).

Anyhoo, I hope CC figures things out for her situation. Don't expect perfection, but improvements are possible.

[tulip]

The thing I miss most of all is my bike commute! It's harder than I thought to just go out for a bike ride. I need a destination and a purpose for my bike rides!