To all moms

[nuthatch]

I feel for you! My husband is often out of town and my 12 year old has to stay by herself when I ride. I'm so nervous that something will happen to me and she'll be all alone and wondering where I am!! But something could happen to me if I ran out to get milk and had a car wreck too. It's just a hard situation with no easy solution.

[singletrackmind]

Here's my solution to watching my husband's girls (10 and 12) during the summer when I have them every other week:
The mornings are understood to be a time to get some excercise. I'll either take them hiking or biking. They'll hike up to 6 miles and bike up to 18, and I vary the mileage. I prefer to hike with them because they are so slow on a bike and the hiking seems to keep me fit enough for the biking when I can get that in. I also vary the routine, sometimes I'll make oat bran/fruit muffins and pack juice and we'll eat breakfast as a picnic or while walking. Sometimes it'll be a lunch picnic. Sometimes I have a destination they enjoy, like a playground or the swimming pool (also good excercise) or grocery shopping (they like picking the groceries, checking off the list, etc) or the library. I began the summer by making a deal with them-no whining while doing what I like to do and we'll go do something free that they like in the afternoon. They got out of the habit of complaining and we all look forward to our mornings now (I don't let them watch tv or play on the computer during the day, I didn't like the absolute lack of family interaction or encouragement of couch potato-ness so we limit those activities, so there isn't so much of a draw to just stay home) at least more than before.
Things I've found that helps-
Something to drink!!! A camelback, a bottle, lots of waterfountains, drinking is a must, moreso than for me.
Snacks. Healthy stuff, of course. Their tanks run empty fast.
Expecting to not get to do as much as I'd like as fast as I'd like. Staying relaxed and focusing on having fun instead of how much we aren't doing.
Letting the kids have as much freedom as possible without putting them in danger and watching them to see what works best for them. The 12 year old especially is breaking away and trying to become her own person so I try to let her have more freedoms and responsibilities. The 10 year old rides faster if she's in front and lags really bad if she's in back. I keep stuff like this in mind.
Think about the things your daughter likes to do and incorporate those things into the excercise on occasion. Throw in a special treat destination every once in awhile, like a ride to get ice cream or something like that. Also think about her specific personality-what motivates her? Does she have a low pain tollerance like my youngest step-daughter? I have to be extra-carefull to keep her as comfortable as possible while we're out or she makes everyone's life miserable. Things that don't bother me in the least can be absolute agony for her and I have to keep reminding myself of that.
I don't know if you are able to or not, but I get up around 4:45 some mornings and hit the road from my house, riding until 7 am, when my DH has to go to work.
My 12 year old step-daughter is very competitive and likes to try racing me (part of the becoming her own person age), the other likes the idea of someone else doing the work and would really enjoy a tandem (though we can't afford one yet, working on it...).

Well, you get the idea. Sorry about the ramble! Best of luck in getting your daughter to excercise willingly, the key is in exploiting her personality, using her likes and dislikes to your (and her) advantage. I'm still working on it, but the girls have been doing a great job this year!

[trayc]

Thank you all for replying and giving me some good things to think about. I just needed a perspective other than my own because I can really wallow in the guilt etc. etc I get Rachel back today so I will start again this week trying to get my rides in as well at working at getting Rachel to go with me.

[mtbdarby]

Trayc
Looks like you've gotten some great advice. My son is only 3 so my sitch is a little different. I would like to add that because of his age, I take one night during the week (I have him during the weeks, he's with dad every 1st, 3rd and 4th weekends) for riding. I have a standing sitter and it's my time. He knows that but it's still hard for me. I have to look at it that I need my time and exercise so I can be the best mom I can. During the remaining week time when I ride, I pull him in a carrier and on the weekends I don't have him I ride off road. Not easy by any stretch but do what you can and keep riding!

Dar

[Barb]

I was in the same boat. My son is now 13 and LOVES when I go for a long ride. In the beginning, I rode closer to home, not very exciting and more traffic and stop signs than I like. I usually rode for about an hour. I could only get him to ride with me if ice cream was involved. It gets easier, and you will be happier and more relaxed if you get a ride in (even if it is only a short distance at first).

[Irulan]

I think there's a tendecny to underestimate what kids are capable of... Red Cross will certify baby sitters starting at age 12. It's a good age to start lettintg them be independent.

irulan

[RoadRaven]

Kids have to be 14 here (NZ) to be able to baby sit legally another family's children

But if parent/s have arranged a neighbour to be about and aware, and children know who to call and how long parent is out for, then children can be left "home alone"

I agree, Irulan, people grossly UNDERestimate what children are capable of. They are very competent creatures, and safety issues and PC-ification have trained us to forget that in much of the western world.