I remember when I finished my PhD, much the worse for the wear. My brother who is a viet nam vet told the family I was the only one that could understand what he'd been through, as I too had just come home from war. Kidding of course, but seriously, it felt like hell. When I called my mother after my defense to tell her that yes, I was dr. (insert last name) she congratulated me and then said the best line "I'm going to go call your brothers and sisters and tell them, then I'm going to bed because these have been the longest 5 yrs of my life". I cracked up! I spent many many hours on the phone crying to my mother about quitting, calling her at 5AM as she was waking up, calling at lunch at work. When she passed about 7 years later, her coworkers came up to me at the funeral home and said "we feel like we went through graduate school with you". I said "I put my mother through hell those years". Now, you would think all things considered, they would have said "oh no you didn't". But the one looked at me with this rather sad smile and said "Yeah you did, but she sure was proud of you". And that still makes me cry.

Now, back on track, I do really feel your pain. I had hoped to go into acedemia but it just didn't work out that way for me. I ended up as a government scientist and I'm not sorry for the choices I made, it worked out for me quite well. I was lucky enough to have my phd advisor be like a second dad to me and though I've encountered some pieces of work in my career, none seem to compare to your soon to be former boss. I'm sorry that you are going through all of this, after all you have done to get where you are already!