I never mastered the elegant wine bottle opening with just using two hands. Scared to drop the bottle. So -- for years of waiting tables and bartending -- here's my technique. I bend one knee out in front and rest the bottle halfway between knee and crotch, holding neck with left hand and twisting corkscrew with right. Once it's in far enough, flip the doodad down and pull up slowly on the handle.

As for the pour, practice tilting the bottle only enough so that a smallish stream comes out. As you pour a taster, lift the bottle theatrically with your right hand, pinkie finger in the air for style points. As you turn the bottle back horizontally and down to finish the pour, drop it down to vertical again and set it down.

Keep wine glass on table at all times, unless you need to pour one away from the table. If it's red, cup the glass as if you were holding your left hand out for spare change, with stem between your fingers. If it's white, hold the glass by its stem (can't risk heating the wine with your hot little hand!).

Good luck, have fun and don't forget to sample all you can!

(Jo says enviously, as she's not drinking wine to spare the fetus any future alcholism or other complications)