Cool, I think I found some old Shimanos on ebay that will do the trick. My niece's boyfriend works at a shop and will probably enjoy the retro challenge.
I actually spun it around the block tonight (the plan was once to see how it felt, I needed more than once) and yeah the down tube thing is a touch scary. I have a slight limb length discrepancy due to chiro issues in my lower back so being lopsided that's some tricky business. I can see it now, I'm shifting, I'm shifting, I'm in traffic with a semi-truck....
"True, but if you throw your panties into the middle of the peloton, someone's likely to get hurt."