A bit OT - Climbing after a fall.

[LBTC]

Leftie, you've done an amazing thing! Good work! You should be very proud!!

Grog, you'll make it! Keep riding lots and feeling your own power. And I agree with singletrack and others....if the "new guy" doesn't fit....don't settle! Heck, at this point, don't even worry about finding a new guy. You will, when the time is right and the guy is right. If you try to hard, you might do what so many of us do....not see what's right before our eyes, just because we thought it might look different!

Hang on, girl! and ride HARD!

Namaste,
~T~

[Grog]

Oh! Girls, you are amazing, thank you so much to all of you for your kind words and great butt-kickin' comments

I kind of like the idea of a good fit. To say the truth, I am not convinced that such a thing as a perfect fit is possible between a man and a woman (or between any two human beings actually) on all aspects of life, for ever. I guess you must be willing to change your position a bit on long rides and even make readjustments of the components (handlebars, saddle...). But the base must be a very good fit, you are quite right. (Sometimes you change so much that you need a new bike??)

Was this an issue with OldGuy?

Not really as he is from a cycling/sports in general family and I bought my first bike because of him. When I seriously got the bug though I did feel that he was less interested into cycling all of a sudden... That was too bad. It kinda fixed itself when his parents offered him a road bike after he finished an important exam though! Now that we've broken up he wants to keep riding with me because I'm the one with all the cool, fast cycling friends. :P

I have just noticed in general that many men can be intimidated by today's strong, opinionated, often successful women. The number of single, professional women (in law, medicine, universities) testifies for this. So I was guessing that a women who's strong on the bike/in some sport could also be intimidating to some guys who still consider, even unconsciously, the sports territory as theirs. I'm glad to feel supported by you gals on this: I'll stick to my strengths.

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And Leftie, you rock!!!! I am very glad for you and I'm very inspired by your story.

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p.s. I'm getting a Velo Bella shortsleeve jersey to celebrate... myself! I'm going to crash my 1500 kilometers goal for the season this week and I still have months and months of riding ahead!

[latelatebloomer]

I love your attitude, and you WILL find someone who loves the way you challenge yourself.

Lefty, thanks for your story. I've faced some of those demons myself, and the wind in my face blows them all away.

On similar vein, any of the other newbies (or you vets, think back, as Miss Tina says, way back!) dealing with their women friends acting weird/fading out as you get serious about riding? I could have picked up a lot worse habit than riding my bike!

[mtbdarby]

Grogs, hugs to you girlfriend. What a great step in starting the healing process by sharing with your friends here that understand.

I thought I had met the man of my dreams this winter. We both thought we were the one and Bam - he walked out. I wanted to get back into biking and he's a mtb'er but I refused to not get into it because of him. We haven't talked in 3 months and I literally ran into him last Thursday after my ride. We talked for about 20 minutes, and as much as I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me up, I stood there and talked. I was so proud of myself for not running or crying but it was hard. I may not be truely "over" him yet, but I am moving on and you will too. As luck would have it, one of the guys on my team for my upcoming race stopped by to chat this weekend and ended up talking for 6 hours! When he left he turned around and planted one on me! Talk about surprised, but he thinks it's great he finally found a good woman who likes to bike (hard to argue that, right?!). Of course, now I don't want to mess things up for my race because right now, that's more important to me, lol. My point, it may surprise you when you meet another guy but you will. And he'll be damn lucky to have found you. Be true to yourself and don't give up the things you enjoy for anyone. Remember, this too shall pass.

Leftie, you're amazing! Thanks for sharing your story - that's not always an easy thing to do. God bless you in your battle and we're here for you if you ever need us. I just got divorced from an alcoholic so I probably have a different perspective but I respect the strides you've made and am cheering you on!

You Go Girls! What an amazing group of ladies on this board. I am honored to be a part of it....

[bikerchick68]

Lefty- so, so proud of you! way to go on turning your life around!!!

GROG, I've been there too... I was married and my now-exhusband walked out last year, divorce finalized last December... any and all physical activity saved me... I cycled, I walked, I went to the gym... anything to burn off that nervous energy... my friends were there for me but not one of them has ever gone thru a divorce so they couldn't always understand what I was feeling...

as to dating... yeah, it can intimidate some guys... they find out I ride a bike and say things like, "Oh, we should go for a ride sometime, I have a bike!" and then ask how far I ride etc... I don't hide who I am but sometimes now I just answer that we'll ride however far they want to go and leave it at that so far I haven't dated any one man long enough for it to be a problem...

I agree tho, to give yourself time to heal first, before you date again... work your way thru the grieving process and be gentle with yourself... know that you can go back and forth thru the stages of grieving, including anger, denial, bargaining, depression etc... allow it to happen in a healthy way and when the anger part hits keep an eye on your avg mph! WOOT! I suddenly got REAL fast!! LOL... take care and keep us posted on ho you're doing OK? hugs...