Here's some encouragement:

I bought my bike on Friday. Went for a leisurely ride on Sunday. Had my fitting yesterday, and decided to ride to work today. Keep in mind, I had never ridden outside of my neighborhood in middle school, and that was 12 years ago. I decided a while ago that I needed to make a change for many reasons.

6.5 miles took me an hour, and I figured out most of my ride to work is up hill. I had to get off and walk up 4 super steep hills, but I forced myself to make it up the last hill on the way to work, even though I had to stop two times on the way up for water and breath. At one point, I was unable to un-clip and fell 100% into the roadway. You did way better than I did!

Sounds like a shitty ride, right? Well, I LOVED IT! I was way more productive at work than usual, and looked forward to my mostly downhill ride home that only took me 35 minutes.

It sounds like you used to ride a lot, and I understand your frustration. As a former dancer, I get pissed when I can't stretch or jump or turn the way I used to. But you sound determined enough to get there. Keep at it! It'll get better!