Stupid moves

[salsabike]

Last night I was walking across the kitchen trying to eat a last forkful of rice. Instead of getting the fork to my mouth, I managed to somehow "twang" it so that it sprayed the rice ALL over the kitchen. I am still wondering if my spouse found rice in his helmet this morning on his commute. The rice was in sauce, and soft, so I had to pick it up grain by grain--any attempt at wiping it up just smooshed it all over the floor.

And then this morning I dropped my eyeglasses right into my coffee cup. Sheesh.

PS May I point out that I achieved both of these things just in the last twelve hours?

[uk elephant]

I do stuff like that all the time...walking into doorframes or tables or any other stationary object daring to jump out at me, stumbling over my own feet, nearly tripping down stairs, falling off the curb......I'm hoping that many minor incidences prevents the buildup of a large and more damaging incidence later....

[OakLeaf]

I slammed the car door into the bridge of my nose two weeks ago. It's still bruised and sore and a little swollen. DH thinks I broke it. (I don't think so though, it doesn't hurt to push the end of my nose sideways.)

[sundial]

It had just snowed a record snowfall and I thought how fun it would be to take my gsd *skijoring*. So I rounded up the cross country skis, grabbed the shoes and Ana and I headed to the garage. With the garage door open, I got Ana leashed and I proceeded to lock into the skis when a UPS driver pulled up in our driveway. She took off for the driver with me attached. I didn't have any control and she bounded up the steps of the truck. The driver was preoccupied with the package and didn't notice until she was sitting by the driver's seat. I had no skill to gracefully ski out of this and sheepishly waited for my package, but not before the driver had a heart attack. I got Ana out of the truck and as I tucked the package under my arm, slipped and skated my way back to the garage. I never tried that stunt again. And the UPS driver honks first.

[Meaux]

Everyday is a day like that for me. LOL

When I was in high school, I was in the orchestra rehearsal room and I was standing behind a chair. I dropped my music and went to pick it up, but apparently did not step back enough in order to clear the chair. I slammed my nose right onto the top of the back of the the chair. Hard. I woke up in the middle of the night with a bloody nose. That's one of my finer moments.

[Jen-Jen]

I have a very bad habit of hushing up and down stairs. I love to skip them too. As I do very often I skip the bottom two stairs to the basement because it gets to close to the wall and I do that as I go back up.

As I was going back up I dragged my right foot up as I normal do...fast and furious...and didn't clear the side of the stairs and smack my last two baby toes, now normal I stub them really bad and say a few juicy cuss words and continue up the stairs. Husband laughs at me and tells me to slow down like I was a kid. This time was a little different. The only thing that came out of my mouth was, Oh my God! and it became a zen chant. I had taken the last two toes and broke them as a braced for sudden impact when stairs meet face. No face issues as I caught myself in time, but boy was my right foot ugly!

[Jolt]

A couple of weeks ago I was hiking in the White Mountains with crampons on (there was still a significant amount of packed snow on the trail) and at one point managed to catch my right crampon in the strap of the left, which caused me to fall backwards into the person right behind me and then land in some soft, deep snow at the side of the trail from which I then had to extricate myself. I'm sure the whole thing looked pretty silly. Actually, that trip resulted in quite a few funny tripping incidents for all of us in the group--everyone stepped in the soft snow several times and sank in!

[DebW]

The dog stories remind me of when my dog (now deceased) was a puppy. We were at a playground with the dog on one of those retracting leashes. My dh and kids decided to play soccer while I held on to the dog. Unfortunately, someone kicked the ball towards the dog and he took off after it. Since I didn't have the presence of mind to push the lock button on the leash immediately, and the line was reeling out fast, I decided that my best course of action was to start running and hope that my speed matched the dog's by the time he got to the end of the leash. I though I was running pretty fast, but the dog was running faster, and when he hit the end of the leash, I went flying through the air. Not sure how far I flew, but I landed hard on my ribs. It hurt to breath deeply for about 3 weeks, but I didn't bother with an x-ray after the doctor told me they don't do anything for broken ribs anyway.