Keeping all you nice people up to date as i promised, i have thought in great detail about all your comments and advice with i great appreciated. yes i believe there may well be relationship issues that have come to light since we started trying to cycle together but how on earth they are addressed i have no idea. My partner has been suffering from a psychiatric illness for the last 6-9 months and i guess that has not helped things at all. I am hoping he is on the road to recovery now.
We went on a cycle ride together at the weekend only 38 miles but it was one of the most horrendous rides i have been on with him apart from when he left me in the middle of nowhere. he was constantly shouting at me and by the time i came to the first big climb i already thought i could not do it so got off and walked up it which made him even worse, it was a comlete disaster and i have now made the decision not to ride again with him not even on the sportive we were doing together. He told me at the weekend yet again that i would not even do it and yes he would ride with me but the very first time i stopped he would be pulling out of it. I have no confidence now that i can do it even if i did i tried to do it alone or with someone else, so i shall be bowing out of this one. I guess i was also scared to ride on my own because i am not mechanically minded but have bought one of those can that repair puncture and blow up your tire at the same time so i might venture out on my own. He has since told me he will ride with me and wont shout or go off and leave me and he will go at my pace but i dont trust him now and really dont want to ride with him. I shall be on the lookout for female riders in my area who might like to join me on cycle rides for pleasure not for racing.
Thank you all for your support you have been great and made me examine things and think about them
Furry Duck