I have to echo what others have said. Sellers have an option of (paying extra to) add a reserve. She probably decided to take her chances that bidding would go high enough, lost out, and decided not to sell it.

I would complain to ebay. They might not do anything because she refunded your $$, but I'd bet they won't let her re-list the item (or they'd end the auction that is up). Ebay doesn't tend to be forgiving of mistakes. I would also post your experience at the other locations she has the item for sale. Folks who are potential buyers deserve to know how you were treated. I would certainly want to know - and would choose not to buy from that person.

Good luck!

CA