Cycling couple-nutso communication

[chicago]

Geez, we could go deep and long on this topic.

Some facts for people to understand:
*He and I are at different stages in life, but still compatible. He took early retirement several years ago since he was able to retire on company pension for himself. Over the years, I've half-joked that he has enviable consulting and management experience he could parlay on a part-time basis. However I didn't expect he would start up a cycling planning consulting firm. But it is an excellent fit...he advocated for cyclists...on a volunteer basis for many years in Toronto and Vancouver. I do know his biz partners.

*Been living together for past few years. But have been together as a couple for much longer... over last 17 years. It is possible that we've just carried over our separate decision-making parallel lives over from prior-to living together. As a couple, we also have lived through physical long-distance relationship for over 2 years when he lived in Calgary and I in Toronto.

Kath:
You expressed it best that if I never objected about certain things/said anything, then the guy will do some planning on his own. Certainly anything cycling-related, I've never objected.

As for his cycling trips, keep in mind he's taken early retirement several years ago (but recently switching to part-time self-employment) . Since then, he's taken several multi-wk (even multi-month) cycling trips on his own or with another guy. So this Europe trip is actually shorter than some of his other trips.

LBTC: Yes, what I feel is most important vs. what others think. I'm on lunch to be continued..

sounds like you are now defending him... yikes... if you're ever bored, this is a good site to visit.... www.verbalabuse.com. it's not so much about abuse, as it is about women putting their needs second, and third and fourth, etc. Here's hoping you might not need it, but if you do, it's a great place.

[mupedalpusher]

Several years ago, my spouse made a major commitment and I found out at a meeting several weeks later. I was the only person that didn't know and I felt like a total fool. It was obvious to the rest of the group because a couple of them apologized later for mentioning it. Try to talk it out now, otherwise you'll have trouble getting past it (or at least I did). It's not something I would ever do to my spouse and it cut deep when it was done to me. Good luck.