I'm trying to remember if you're actually married to him, or not. I do recall that you've been together a long time.

If you're not married, then I think there are some boundaries that he feels he's entitled to. Whether those boundaries are flexible in the context of your long term relationship is up to the two of you.

If you're married, then I think it's all completely out of bounds for him to make financial decisions and decisions to be away from you without your input. Some marriages are different. My marriage would not be injured if one of us did what your partner did.

Karen