Turtule Pond - Mental Tenacity

[SheFly]

Apparently, this is what I am lacking...

Yesterday was my first race of the season. Turtle Pond in Loudon, NH. I was pretty nervous going into the race - this was my first road race in the P/1/2/3 field. I have been doing a lot of riding, and following my training plan, but wasn't sure that I was going to be able to hang in with a strong field. As it turned out, I couldn't

Before the race, I chatted with some of my male teammates who had just finished their race. One of them told me that it was as much a mental game as a physical one - don't get discouraged, and hang tough. Don't let yourself get mentally dropped. Don't give up. All great advice.

I headed over to the staging area to get ready for the race. My teammate and I were riding down the road. "How are you doing?", she asked. "I think I'm dead." I replied. My HRM was showing 0 bpm. My teammate laughed and asked if she should start CPR. It was a good light moment to help calm the Butterfly Olympics in my stomach.

On the start line, I positioned myself close to the front, knowing I would need a decent position to get myself up the hill. As we listened to instructions from the official, I looked down and saw that my HR was already in my tempo zone - 151 bpm. Definitely not dead. I was nervous beyond belief.

We took off and headed for the hill. I felt ok. I drifted through the pack towards the back, but maintained contact up and over (realizing that I was in my big ring the whole way - DOH - no wonder it felt so hard!). Over the top and we were off. I stayed mostly in the back of the pack for the first few miles, happy to watch my teammates and learn from what they were doing.

On the backside of the course, one of my teammates attacked the field. It took awhile for one other person to counter, and the two of them were off. Our team director found me to tell me what the next team move would be, at which point I told her that I was basically hanging on by my fingernails. She coached me to move up through the pack to the middle and get on a teammate's wheel, so I did that. Then she told me to be sure to move up so that I could again be nearer to the front going into the hill.

About halfway up the hill the second time around, a squirrely move by one of the racers caught me off guard. Shortly thereafter, I disengaged from the pack, watching them ride away from me. I could hear the pre-race advice in my head telling me to hang on just a little bit longer, but I didn't think I could, and I let go. So, over the crest of the hill, I was off the back and in for the chase. I could still see the pack, and worked as hard as I could for a few miles to be able to catch back on.

The follow car had passed me as well, but I was gaining. Chasing, gaining, chasing. The follow car moved out of the way as I chased close enough to almost reconnect with the pack. Chasing, chasing, connecting, right hand turn, pack surges, goodbye. After all of the chasing I had done, when the pack stepped on the gas coming out of the first right hand turn, I had nothing to match their move. They accelerated, and I never saw them again.

I wanted to quit. I knew there was no way I was going to be able to chase back on again. I was discouraged. It was cold, it was windy, but for some reason, I kept on going. Back up the hill past cheering friends and spectators for another lap alone. I didn't even continue to just ride - I kept "racing", putting out as much effort as I could muster (which wasn't much).

The mental conversation for the remainder was pretty amusing:

"You suck, but just keep going anyway"
"It's a nice day for a long LT ride - NOT"
"I don't belong racing in this category"
"I want to quit. It's only one more lap. But that's TWO more times up the hill."
"I think I'm the last person out here..."

After 2.5 laps of racing/riding on my own, I turned up Oak Hill Rd for one last climb up the hill. I knew I was almost finished, but I was so embarrased as my teammates, who had already finished (and won - YAY!), were now coming back down the hill, all cheering loudly for me. As I crossed the line, I was glad to have stuck it out and finished, even if I was Dead Freakin' Last (DFL).

Maybe I do have some mental tenacity afterall...either that or I'm just too stupid to quit

[jesvetmed]

Mental Tenacity -- lacked by many! Congrats on the finish, even DFL! It's early in the season!

[Zen]

Yes, that is mental tenacity!
Thanks for giving it a name, I'm sure I'll be using that phrase a lot this summer.
The last time i was out my conversation with myself was "You don't even belong on the road".

[Veronica]

I always love reading your race reports.

V.

[redrhodie]

I don't think you're lacking anything! You didn't quit. Be proud of yourself!

You psyched yourself out. As someone who does that herself in stressful situations, I see the signs. I can almost see the little devil sitting on your shoulder, telling you you're going to fail.

I wonder if the pep talk you got from your teammate before the race made things worse? It sounds like he planted the seed that you would be mentally dropped. I'm sure he was just trying to help, but once that comment was out there, you were "dead".

[Zen]

You psyched yourself out.

99% of our performance is mental.
Maybe some sports psychology reading is in order for both of us.
Especially the chapter called The Hill

[SheFly]

Zen and RRH - you're both right. I talked to my coach about the race, and he said that I need to stop talking to myself - or at least listening to myself

I do think I was doomed from the start mentally, and that was probably 75% of my issue in the race. I didn't THINK that I would be able to hang in, and I didn't. I need to become more confident in my ability. Of course, all of this is MUCH easier said than done .

Anyone have some good mental tips for me????

SheFly

[Veronica]

"I think I can!" "I think I can!" "I think I can!" "I think I can!" "I think I can!" "I think I can!" "I think I can!" "I think I can!" "I think I can!" "I think I can!" "I think I can!" "I think I can!"
"I know I can!"

Yoga!

Yoga has become my answer for everything lately. It seems to have helped me focus or defocus (not a real word I know!) as needed.

V.

[SheFly]

Oh - good one, V! The little engine that could....

Update - they just posted the official results, and I WASN'T LAST! Woohoo! Finished 17th out of 18 finishers and 20 starters.

And I do need to look into yoga - seems to be the answer for lots of issues.

SheFly

[Veronica]

See and YOU finished. Any time you finish is good.

I do yoga at home with videos. The cats attack me, but that just makes it more fun.

V.

[Starfish]

Anyone have some good mental tips for me????

I know this might not be helpful, because I don't race, and I don't have any idea what it is like. But, you should seriously consider yourself a bold, courageous, strong racer. I don't even have the courage to try a race, let alone hang in one through my own mental gremlins trying to take me out.

Re-read your race report. You are much stronger than you are letting yourself believe!!! You DO have mental toughness. So, put that question to bed and next time out, spend the mental energy on your ride, rather than on the internal dialogue.

(Hope that doesn't sound condescending from someone who doesn't race. I was thinking of a different area where I had a little breakthrough in confidence, and all the sudden, there was SO much more energy to put into the actual activity, as opposed to all my internal noise.)

[Zen]

Re-read your race report. You are much stronger than you are letting yourself believe!!!

+1 to that

ETA- I just found this article that might actually be helpful.
For all of us, racers or not.

[Crankin]

Kathy,

You are one of the strongest people I know! Even though I don't race, I have been around enough people who do, to know this. Going to the 1/2/3 category is tough, when they are grouped all together. And everyone else is right; the mental self talk can either help you or kill you. I also have a real problem with this, especially when I'm in an unfamiliar or tough cycling situation. You have to find a happy medium with the voice in your head!

I have a great DVD of yoga for cyclists. It's not the hardest yoga I've ever done, but it works. If you want to come by and borrow it to copy, that's fine.

Robyn

[SheFly]

+1 to that

ETA- I just found this article that might actually be helpful.
For all of us, racers or not.

Zen - thanks for the link to the article! I have just skimmed so far, but it looks great!

I have a great DVD of yoga for cyclists. It's not the hardest yoga I've ever done, but it works. If you want to come by and borrow it to copy, that's fine.

Robyn

Thanks, Robyn! I actually have this DVD, and have only done it once. Should likely do it some more. BTW - was that you I passed on your road yesterday? I was doing a hard interval using your hill, and am certin you passed me driving home...

SheFly

[Crankin]

Yes! That was me. And I thought it was you.
And I was glad to see that you sort of had a look of pain on your face...
(to make myself feel better about the pain I feel every time I have to come home on my bike!).
Robyn