Dear So and So

[Velobambina]

Dear Fiona

You are SO CUTE when you walk with your leash in your mouth, strutting along & letting your show dog blood shine through!

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear DH's job,

I know May is your busiest month and he is valuable but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let him off for an anniversary trip.

[dex]

Dear Bitter VP,

I realize that things are changing rapidly within your organization, and you can't tell everyone the details of all of the things that are happening. However, I'd like to suggest that outright lying to them is maybe not the best way to handle the situation.

I know you have some bitterness over the fact that you are not as well-liked as your predecessor, but you haven't really done anything so far to engender the trust of the people that you're expecting to fall in line behind you.

Just a few thoughts:

• If you claim to have an Open Door Policy, you should consider actually opening the door on occasion.
• When asked a direct question, consider occasionally giving a direct answer. If you *always* sidestep even the easy questions, people will simply stop asking you any questions at all.
• Have enough respect for your employees to deal with them directly if they actually come to you themselves for clarification.
• Don't lie. (Really, that's just a good rule for all of us, whether in our professional or personal lives.)

I wish your employees the best, and I'll truly miss working with such a dynamic and intelligent group of people who seemed to be truly interested in solving the problems they were presented with on this project. I hope you decide to start treating them like the valuable professionals they are, instead of the unruly children you seem to think they are. They deserve better than that. And you'll get better work from them if you show them a little respect.

As for me, I'll be moving on to help solve other problems at other organizations, because that's what I do. I hope to find another team of people who are willing to dig in and do the difficult work that I'll challenge them with on a daily basis. And, as always, I hope to find leadership that does more than pay the occasional bit of lip service to the need for better customer and user experience.

Best Regards,
The Architect of Your Nightmares

[divingbiker]

Dear clueless woman at the nail salon today--

Do you realize that a puppy is a living being? And that a 4-week-old puppy should never be taken from its mother and carted around in a purse like some kind of accessory? (You didn't seem to get it when I pointed out that puppies should be with their mothers till they're 8 weeks old.) I hope the poor baby survives.

[crazycanuck]

Dear woman @ train station after Western Force game last night..

Get your **$**$*$ knickers out of a knot..who cares if we make sheep noises in a crowd..

if you don't like it, go to the ballet

[Velobambina]

BBBAAAAAAHHHHH, CC. I'm right there w/you, girl.

You should have told her to get over herself.

[mimitabby]

Dear woman @ train station after Western Force game last night..

Get your **$**$*$ knickers out of a knot..who cares if we make sheep noises in a crowd..

if you don't like it, go to the ballet

Dear CC, we often make sheep noises in a crowd too, but it's usually cow noises that we enjoy making the most.

[sundial]

Dear former dog owners,

Once again I have the opportunity to transport yet another beautiful, sad, and confused family pet to a new home. I don't know your circumstances of the divorce, but ditching a dog at the local pound as a quick solution to your inconvenience is a no go in my book. There are other solutions that provide a better outcome for your dog. Fortunately, the shelter you dropped her off is very rescue friendly and they work diligently to get dogs into new homes.

Pets become very bonded with their families and divorce disrupts their lives and affects their emotional well being. If you don't believe me, walk back to the cages of a shelter and look into the eyes of a dislocated dog. I have seen dogs completely give up and die, even as shelter workers provided exercise, food, and affection.

My wish is that the new family will give ten fold to this beautiful dog that is a victim of divorce.

Signed,
one whose work is never done

[mimitabby]

+++ This goes for cat owners too. I have seen their sad faces too many times.

Dear former dog owners,

Once again I have the opportunity to transport yet another beautiful, sad, and confused family pet to a new home. I don't know your circumstances of the divorce, but ditching a dog at the local pound as a quick solution to your inconvenience is a no go in my book. There are other solutions that provide a better outcome for your dog. Fortunately, the shelter you dropped her off is very rescue friendly and they work diligently to get dogs into new homes.

Pets become very bonded with their families and divorce disrupts their lives and affects their emotional well being. If you don't believe me, walk back to the cages of a shelter and look into the eyes of a dislocated dog. I have seen dogs completely give up and die, even as shelter workers provided exercise, food, and affection.

My wish is that the new family will give ten fold to this beautiful dog that is a victim of divorce.

Signed,
one whose work is never done

[OakLeaf]

Dear ex-husband,

Thank you for sharing amicable joint custody of our four dogs for 12 years after our divorce.

[sundial]

Dear Internal Revenue Service:

Enclosed you will find my 2007 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.

Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper; dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.

I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers (valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00.

Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the " Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5" Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws).

One screw is enclosed for your convenience.

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,
A Satisfied Taxpayer

[Pax]

Dear Internal Revenue Service:

Enclosed you will find my 2007 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.

Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper; dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.

I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers (valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00.

Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the " Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5" Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws).

One screw is enclosed for your convenience.

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,
A Satisfied Taxpayer

[Blueberry]

Dear Internal Revenue Service:

Enclosed you will find my 2007 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.

Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper; dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.

I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers (valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00.

Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the " Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5" Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws).

One screw is enclosed for your convenience.

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,
A Satisfied Taxpayer

That is priceless

CA

[solobiker]

Dear TE,
Thank for all of the positive energy, friendship and great advice you have given. This is a great place.

[crazycanuck]

Dear Spring/Summery type weather,

Could you please be in BC & Alberta in time for our arrival? Please? If the forecast on the CBC site is correct, we're in for a shock!!!

Ok,yes it might be great to see snow after 8yrs but i've not driven in it!!