@3%$#&*^%

[Veronica]

I have a student who is an out and out bully. I've been out two days this week - Mon. and today. He got a two day in school suspension for bullying on Mon. Today he gets another suspension for bullying.

Dad is at his wit's end with the boy and wants to meet tomorrow - Friday - after school. Yeah, I'm sure that will be real productive. I've already had three meetings with these parents about their kid and his bullying. Right now I am just livid. WTF am I suppose to tell this parent. The parents have created a 12 year old monster who is manipulative and takes advantage of others when he can. Like when I'm not there. I cannot this fix this boy. He's been allowed to get away with so much stuff at home and there's not nearly enough supervision for him at home. I have no advice to give the parent. I am not a counselor.

And I'm not going to stop going to my medical appointments just because I have a loony kid who can't behave if I'm not there.

Anyway...thanks for reading.

V.

[VeloVT]

Gently suggest that they attend family counseling? Or at least that the boy get some counseling? (Sounds like it could be a family issue though). The parents may mean perfectly well and have no clue what they're doing wrong. I think that's the case pretty often with parents, even when the consequences are milder.

[maillotpois]

Grr. That's maddening!

How was the bike fit???

[Veronica]

Just got back from a ride. The bike fit gets its own happy post.



V.

[Wahine]

V - I would second that the family seek out some counselling. When I run into these types of problems with patients (for eg, a lot of their issues are psychological and a few are physical and the psych ones are interfering...) I usually explain clearly what it is that I am good at and explain that the current issue is something that I cannot address with my bag of tricks. Then I explain that the next step is to direct them to someone who can help them with the issue at hand and I reiterate that that person is not me.

That sucks. I can't wait to read your bike fit post and I do hope that it's happy.

[Veronica]

What drives me nuts is the kid actually uses his family as an excuse for his behavior when he talks to the principal. She of course feels sorry for him and cuts him some slack. He is very manipulative. And he doesn't pull this crap when I'm there.

When somebody presses charges against him for assault I doubt the police will take into consideration his "family issues". BTW we have no evidence that there are family issues, other than than that he is the only boy and has been allowed to do as he likes for most of his life. And now that he is about to go into middle school, his parents want to rein him in. I want to say, "Why didn't you listen to his K and first grade teachers when they told you had bullying issues?" It's not like it's a new thing for this kid. It's been a problem for the 7 years he's been in school.

V.

[Wahine]

On second thought.... tell them to send him to military school.


Was that a bad thing to say? I just can't stand manipulative people and bullies.

Why is it that so many humans can't find compassion for others in their hearts? I mean this boy for other people, not you V. Thank goodness for teachers like you.

[kat_h]

When he gets to middle school there will be bigger bullies waiting for him.

[Veronica]

I know that is part of my frustration. I have tried so hard with this kid this year - lots of one on one talking and tutoring - trying to get him to see how other people perceive the things he says and does. And then the minute I am not there, he takes advantage of the situation and goes right back to being an a$$.

I feel like he was just blowing smoke all along. This is one of those I need to not take personally.

V.

[Velobambina]

Imagine what he'll be like as an adult.....

[Veronica]

Yeah, that's what scares me.

Today I found out that he spent his day of suspension riding around on his scooter, going to 7-11 to get slurpees...

What do parents think suspended means - a holiday?


V.

[SouthernBelle]

That is what has always bothered me about suspensions. The ones who are most likely to get suspended are the ones whose parents aren't going to do anything. So they get out of school to play.

[bmccasland]

Apparently that's exactly what his parents think. They have to be involved in raising their son. It isn't the school's place to be the primary one to teach the brat manners.

You'll probably love this one... one of my friends showed me a picture of his 10 or 11 yr old son, who was in black-face, and obviously had been crying. Apparently his son made some inappropriate remark about not wanting to do something with the neighbor boy, soley because the other child was black. So Dad drags him in the house and paints his face black. THEN makes the child go walk around the block and explain to child he sees what he had done. Dad sees his neighbor lady (who's black), driving by, waves her to a stop, and has said child explain to her his misdeeds. Neighbor lady thanks child, and calls Dad later to express sincere gratitude. The Dad isn't a severe person, and had been trying to teach the boy, but had reached the end of his rope. And he said, his parents did the same thing to him, and that was when he finally learned his lesson - racial slurs are a bad thing.

[makbike]

Does your school have a counselor assigned to it? If so, could the counselor attend the conference? Counseloring is a great idea but be careful about how you approach this one. Where I teach if I suggest counseloring the district is then obligated to supply it, not sure if that applies to your home district or not.

[Veronica]

Yeah, we can't suggest counseling either.

Most of the time I love my job, but this type of situation just makes me nuts.

V.