Dear Queen -

Hugely belated hugs and condolences about your dad. Reading your Easter bunny post made me cry. Sorry I have been out of the loop. Hang in there.

- me

~~~~~~~

Dear Self-Designated Super Lawyer Co-Counsel:

I will accept that this is YOUR client and YOU want to control the relationship, including limiting what I am given and what I can produce in this litigation. (I have, however, taken an ethical TUMS to allow me to proceed under these directives.) I will accept having you be the go-between to YOUR client since I am only the silly attorney hired by your client's insurance company to defend this case. I will take direction from you. I will even put up with your terse and critical emails about the recommendations that I make (which recommendations you then invariably adopt, with no apparent chagrin.)

But I draw the line at doing legal research for you. I am a litigation attorney who has been practicing for 16 years. I have tried cases. I presently act as a private judge in complex litigation cases. I've been on boards of directors for litigation practice groups and have met with state senators/assemblymen at the Capitol helping to guide them in making law. Do you really feel it necessary to send me something you'd like me to look up for you in WESTLAW? Do you realize that even though you are male, you, too, have access to the INTERNET??

Harumph.

- me, Esq.