Good for you for joining a club and going out on their rides.

If it is a group ride, expectations should be set up front about all of your questions. But here is my take (and I've been leading club rides for a lot of years).

No one gets lost. Especially when they make it clear that they don't know where they are. Stronger riders need to regroup at the top of hills and major turns. Period.

Flats stink, but they happen. At least one other rider should stay so the person has company. I have, at time, stopped the whole group, but that is often impractical. If people do wait, many thanks should be offered, and your ride should continue WITHOUT the expectation that you will catch those who continued.

Re: getting dropped - it is ok to let folks know that you aren't having a good day, and will just do your own thing. Of course, see the first point about knowing where you are . I will often slow a group when I am aware of this, or at least try to encourage the person to hang in - putting them in the middle of the pack, and no pulls.

Of course, that's just my $0.02. If you are new, they should definitely be accomodating, especially if you are riding in the appropriate group.

SheFly