I don't tolerate milk products well, either, but not to the degree you've described. yogurt can cause heartburn, even, though....but I tried an ulcer-helper, actually, and have had better success with that than with the lactaid or the digestive enzymes....it's called DGL, some kind of licorice root. buy the chewable and try eating a tablet about a half hour before eating. it may help!

I have found it impossible to resist cheese, so went looking for soy cheese. the first ones I found were tolerable, but the second brand (likely one only available in BC as it is Okanagan Soya) is fabulous! I love it! it melts well and grates well, too!

as for ice cream, yeah, it doesn't sit well, either, can you say bloated?? but we rarely have it so I just put up with it. I didn't like the soy ice cream at all. on my cereal I use vitasoy light vanilla. I find it quite nice, but I really do have tasty cereal in the morning with added bananas and blueberries, so that may help.

good luck!!
namaste,
~T~