Etiquette Help

[Tuckervill]

Ooh, I like the electric shock approach.

Yes, I like to touch wood also, but a fragile Chimayo Tree of Life with individually carved leaves and animals? Obviously delicate, soft, light colored without finish? No way would I touch something like that in someone else's house.

We have no children and very few children ever visit. Our house is filled with artwork. I'd never be able to stop moving if I had to keep my body between him and the art.

Yeah, I wouldn't touch the tree of life like that, either. This guy really doesn't have much sense, does he?

Maybe if you'd only have to run the blockade once for him to get the message.

Usually I prefer the direct approach, though...."These are fragile, please don't touch. Thanks!"

Karen

[Grog]

I'm also of the direct school, or, rather: just plain blunt.

The first time he would have picked up something and it bothered me, I would have said: "Would you mind not touching the art work?" (or, in case it's unclear whether he'll understand what "art work" encompasses: "Would you mind not touching what's on the shelves?"

Or: "Hey, a tall guy like you, surely you can stick your head close enough to the sculpture without having to pick it up, do you?"

If I saw some level of offense I might add, as suggested above: "It's not about you, but I'm a bit obsessive about this... I had a [friend, brother-in-law, friend's husband...] break a super rare [insert fancy name of some art work here] and it could not be repaired, so now I'm really obsessive about them." Add, for fun: "My shrink is dealing with this issue with me but in the meantime please don't touch or I'll send you the bill of my analyst!..."

[Geonz]

People who haven't figured out social rules like that generally don't get offended easily, either. They don't perceive the way you cringe and wince when they're handling... they don't know why they aren't better liked.

HOnestly, you could be doing the fellow a *huge* favor to tell him - he may then think twice at somebody else's house.

[SadieKate]

I think I was so shocked that he was picking stuff up that I didn't say anything and now I'm just in a quandary.

Or: "Hey, a tall guy like you, surely you can stick your head close enough to the sculpture without having to pick it up, do you?"

I like this! The guy isn't stupid, and he does get humor and puns so I know he's quick with words. I'd like to say something pointed but humorous the first time just to give him the opportunity to say "whoops, sorry" and not have a huge black cloud hanging over the relationship.

Bubba didn't see that the friend was rolling the carved owl on the floor the other day. When I told him about it last night, he was a bit incensed. So Bubba may take the more direct approach and I'll add the iron fist in a velvet glove approach.

[Trek420]

Could the wonder poodle be trained as an art guard-dog?

[Starfish]

I'm with SGTiger and some of the other posters here with the kind, direct, firm approach.

It's matter of fact. It is not mean, *****y, etc, to simply ask for what you want in your own home. Don't anticipate his reaction and try to prepare for all the possible outcomes. Just be relaxed, brief, and direct. That usually helps me take my own drama out of it so that I can more easily be friendly and direct regardless of the response that ensues (if any does...half the time I have borrowed trouble without need, by anticipating).

ETA: Oops, LOL, I forgot to edit myself, and got edited. I guess you can tell the *****y above was meant to be b****y. :-)

[SadieKate]

Could the wonder poodle be trained as an art guard-dog?

As of Friday, the Wonder Poodle is chasing dream bunnies to his heart's content.

[Zen]