Etiquette Help

[tulip]

Remind him that this is VISUAL art, not TACTILE art.

He's probably ADD and just can't keep still. I bet he doesn't even realize he's doing it, but if you ask him to stop, I bet he'll make an effort.

[SadieKate]

Remind him that this is VISUAL art, not TACTILE art.

That's good! I can say that with a smile and the right look the first time.

Plan B) I can remind him nicely.
Plan C) Salsa's "I'm glad you like my art and objects but I would SO appreciate it if you would look at them without handling them"?

After that, Brandi's plan with both cannons.

I like the confetti idea too. Kind of hard to cover your tracks.

[shootingstar]

Remind him that this is VISUAL art, not TACTILE art.

He's probably ADD and just can't keep still. I bet he doesn't even realize he's doing it, but if you ask him to stop, I bet he'll make an effort.

I like the visual vs. tactile art..it is valid..up to a certain point. Some wood and soapstone pieces are lovely just to stroke lightly and briefly.

Never had a visitor like your friend. He seems like a person who would be interested in stories of the artist/background to the piece of artwork. We have some fragile pieces ...some unusual...which do require being up close to the object. There have been some situations we just couldn't have a 2-yr. old visitor running around at our place, unless we spent 1-2 hrs. putting away objects. But it hasn't been like this all the time... only in last few years.

[Trek420]

He seems like a person who would be interested in stories of the artist/background to the piece of artwork.

Just had an idea. Could you hand him a book? "yes, yes it is a nice wooden fragile hand made owl, isn't it. And HERE, here's a book about the artist. Sit, read."

Another etiquette question; how do you respond when asked if you have an "extra" bike to loan .... to someone you don't know .... or know how well they ride .... for several months ... and you know it won't be secured in the home

Is the answer;
A: "no" or...
B: "he]] no. But thank you for thinking of me and here are some affordable shops thank you very much".

[KnottedYet]

Plan B.

Absolutely. (but softer on the "he]] no")

To the OT: I have a friend whose child has a form of autism. Lay out the rules clearly and simply. Sometimes the subtle social cues are simply indeciferable and direct instructions work best.

[Trek420]

That's what I thought. Thanks for the reality check

[OakLeaf]

To the OT: I have a friend whose child has a form of autism. Lay out the rules clearly and simply. Sometimes the subtle social cues are simply indeciferable and direct instructions work best.

The first thing I thought of when I read the OP was Asperger's, also. I'd agree with a direct approach.

[SadieKate]

To the OT: I have a friend whose child has a form of autism. Lay out the rules clearly and simply. Sometimes the subtle social cues are simply indeciferable and direct instructions work best.

The first thing I thought of when I read the OP was Asperger's, also. I'd agree with a direct approach.

Sheesh, I have no evidence that anyone has every given him the rules. I have no idea what his parents are like or if he has any other friends with fine art in the house. Let's not, once again, assume the worst until you know him personally, OK?

[KnottedYet]

Let's not, once again, assume the worst until you know him personally, OK?

Excuse me?

I merely shared my experience with someone who likes to pick up things. When one's subtle cues don't get the message across (for what ever reason, in my case this child had a very clear reason) laying the rules out clearly takes the stress off everyone.

[Trek420]

I think "it's never too late to have a happy childhood" So he can learn now to enjoy art. That's what art is for, to be enjoyed, to see and be seen. It's not there to match my sofa or for guests to be awed by the value of our collection and that I own a _____ .

Art's to see and enjoy and mos important to make you think.

At the same time unless it's sand sculpture it's to be protected so that future generations can see it.

Maybe he did not have art in the home growing up, or access to museum. But he had toys and stuff. So he may feel that "it's in the home it's stuff and a toy and I can play with it."

Is there a museum in your area that you like or a gallery? Can you take him there and talk about art where things are somewhat protected. "I think this is good art but what do you think? why do you like this piece or that one better? what does it make you feel? how do you think it was made?"

Is there an open studio, not pottery or glass blowing or outdoor sculpture, wooden outdoor instalations, something tough.

He might not know how to enjoy art or that he can without rolling it on the carpet, or what art he can roll on the carpet. This can be a further bond of your friendship and a new world for him.

I reflect on the OP that you mentioned something along the lines of "if it's like this now how's it going to be when we unpack all the art?" Not going to quote it but sumthin' like that.

To me it comes down to which do you like more? Your friend or the art?

He's 6' sumthin so it's not as if you can put the "good stuff" beyond his reach . Choices include that you keep your friend as he is today and keep art packed, or valuable and or fragile stuff in another part of the house, or out of reach or .... get more durable art or have the heart to heart chat.

But I'd teach him to enjoy art too. I think he'll learn from you and you may see art in a new way too. It's kinda like teaching someone to ride who does not enjoy that

Duck on Wheels who was the artist that our mutual brother and the artists son were playing in the attic and running around on the still drying paintings? Wasn't that Ad Rheinhardt? So there's probably a painting in the Gugenheim with faint brother of the Duck footprints

Art happens, enjoy the art.

Trek-C.C.A.C class of 1983-420

PS: I'm sorry to hear about the wonder-poodle

PPS: there's also the chance that he's just very tactile. Some people are more visual, others more verbal ... this could just be the way he learns. A trip to see sculpture may be just the ticket for him to learn to love and appreciate art.

[OakLeaf]

Sheesh, I have no evidence that anyone has every given him the rules. I have no idea what his parents are like or if he has any other friends with fine art in the house. Let's not, once again, assume the worst until you know him personally, OK?

Whoa.... easy there. I agree it's a little facile for me to throw out diagnoses online, and I apologize for that.

But there was no "assuming the worst," OK. For one thing, all I said was it's what I thought of. And, if you've ever known anybody with Asperger's (chances are you have and just didn't know it) their company can be very enjoyable. It's a developmental disorder that has nothing to do with their parents, and it's hardly a worst case scenario.

I was just echoing what others have said, that when someone doesn't automatically understand how their behavior might be offensive to others, indirect approaches have a high chance of going right over their head.

'Kay?

[jobob]

Good one Zen!!

ICHCheezburger rulz.

[Zen]

"No, but why don't you check the Goodwill/Rescue Mission/salvation Army/Craigslist for something cheap?"

[Trek420]

"Yes! And you have an extra $_____.__ I can borrow while you borrow the bike because after your friend with no detectable cycling skills has it for 3-4 months I'll need to fix, tune-up, true-the wheels, clean, overhaul, replace parts and maybe just maybe replace the whole irreplaceable full custom bike, right?"