Etiquette Help

[SadieKate]

Ooh, I like the electric shock approach.

Yes, I like to touch wood also, but a fragile Chimayo Tree of Life with individually carved leaves and animals? Obviously delicate, soft, light colored without finish? No way would I touch something like that in someone else's house.

We have no children and very few children ever visit. Our house is filled with artwork. I'd never be able to stop moving if I had to keep my body between him and the art.

[tulip]

Remind him that this is VISUAL art, not TACTILE art.

He's probably ADD and just can't keep still. I bet he doesn't even realize he's doing it, but if you ask him to stop, I bet he'll make an effort.

[SadieKate]

Remind him that this is VISUAL art, not TACTILE art.

That's good! I can say that with a smile and the right look the first time.

Plan B) I can remind him nicely.
Plan C) Salsa's "I'm glad you like my art and objects but I would SO appreciate it if you would look at them without handling them"?

After that, Brandi's plan with both cannons.

I like the confetti idea too. Kind of hard to cover your tracks.

[shootingstar]

Remind him that this is VISUAL art, not TACTILE art.

He's probably ADD and just can't keep still. I bet he doesn't even realize he's doing it, but if you ask him to stop, I bet he'll make an effort.

I like the visual vs. tactile art..it is valid..up to a certain point. Some wood and soapstone pieces are lovely just to stroke lightly and briefly.

Never had a visitor like your friend. He seems like a person who would be interested in stories of the artist/background to the piece of artwork. We have some fragile pieces ...some unusual...which do require being up close to the object. There have been some situations we just couldn't have a 2-yr. old visitor running around at our place, unless we spent 1-2 hrs. putting away objects. But it hasn't been like this all the time... only in last few years.

[Trek420]

He seems like a person who would be interested in stories of the artist/background to the piece of artwork.

Just had an idea. Could you hand him a book? "yes, yes it is a nice wooden fragile hand made owl, isn't it. And HERE, here's a book about the artist. Sit, read."

Another etiquette question; how do you respond when asked if you have an "extra" bike to loan .... to someone you don't know .... or know how well they ride .... for several months ... and you know it won't be secured in the home

Is the answer;
A: "no" or...
B: "he]] no. But thank you for thinking of me and here are some affordable shops thank you very much".

[KnottedYet]

Plan B.

Absolutely. (but softer on the "he]] no")

To the OT: I have a friend whose child has a form of autism. Lay out the rules clearly and simply. Sometimes the subtle social cues are simply indeciferable and direct instructions work best.

[Trek420]

That's what I thought. Thanks for the reality check

[OakLeaf]

To the OT: I have a friend whose child has a form of autism. Lay out the rules clearly and simply. Sometimes the subtle social cues are simply indeciferable and direct instructions work best.

The first thing I thought of when I read the OP was Asperger's, also. I'd agree with a direct approach.

[SadieKate]

To the OT: I have a friend whose child has a form of autism. Lay out the rules clearly and simply. Sometimes the subtle social cues are simply indeciferable and direct instructions work best.

The first thing I thought of when I read the OP was Asperger's, also. I'd agree with a direct approach.

Sheesh, I have no evidence that anyone has every given him the rules. I have no idea what his parents are like or if he has any other friends with fine art in the house. Let's not, once again, assume the worst until you know him personally, OK?

[jobob]

Good one Zen!!

ICHCheezburger rulz.

[Zen]

"No, but why don't you check the Goodwill/Rescue Mission/salvation Army/Craigslist for something cheap?"

[Trek420]

"Yes! And you have an extra $_____.__ I can borrow while you borrow the bike because after your friend with no detectable cycling skills has it for 3-4 months I'll need to fix, tune-up, true-the wheels, clean, overhaul, replace parts and maybe just maybe replace the whole irreplaceable full custom bike, right?"

[Tuckervill]

Ooh, I like the electric shock approach.

Yes, I like to touch wood also, but a fragile Chimayo Tree of Life with individually carved leaves and animals? Obviously delicate, soft, light colored without finish? No way would I touch something like that in someone else's house.

We have no children and very few children ever visit. Our house is filled with artwork. I'd never be able to stop moving if I had to keep my body between him and the art.

Yeah, I wouldn't touch the tree of life like that, either. This guy really doesn't have much sense, does he?

Maybe if you'd only have to run the blockade once for him to get the message.

Usually I prefer the direct approach, though...."These are fragile, please don't touch. Thanks!"

Karen

[Grog]

I'm also of the direct school, or, rather: just plain blunt.

The first time he would have picked up something and it bothered me, I would have said: "Would you mind not touching the art work?" (or, in case it's unclear whether he'll understand what "art work" encompasses: "Would you mind not touching what's on the shelves?"

Or: "Hey, a tall guy like you, surely you can stick your head close enough to the sculpture without having to pick it up, do you?"

If I saw some level of offense I might add, as suggested above: "It's not about you, but I'm a bit obsessive about this... I had a [friend, brother-in-law, friend's husband...] break a super rare [insert fancy name of some art work here] and it could not be repaired, so now I'm really obsessive about them." Add, for fun: "My shrink is dealing with this issue with me but in the meantime please don't touch or I'll send you the bill of my analyst!..."

[Geonz]

People who haven't figured out social rules like that generally don't get offended easily, either. They don't perceive the way you cringe and wince when they're handling... they don't know why they aren't better liked.

HOnestly, you could be doing the fellow a *huge* favor to tell him - he may then think twice at somebody else's house.