Helping a disabled sibling, how far would you help?

[Possegal]

Wow, your friend has had a horrible time of it, hasn't she? Prayers to her!

That said, I've learned that the response of siblings will run the gamut! Since my sister was diagnosed with cancer in May, I've driven back and forth to PA to help her, take her to drs, help her make decisions about the next step, and just spend time with her, probably once every 3-4 weeks. I backed out of some work opportunities (no extra money, but higher profile) because she needed my attention more. I was there for nearly 4 weeks when she had a failed surgery to try and remove the tumor. In the meantime, our oldest brother (younger than my sis though) was at her house for hours the night before her 22 january surgery, and she hasn't seen or heard from him since then. He lives 2 miles from her house. I don't even begin to get it.

Were this my sister, I'm sure I'd be doing a lot. I'd be helping her as best I can. One thing I've done with my sister is just pay for a lot of things. I've yet to write a check, but she knows I will if she needs it. I'd refinance my house if I had to. But that's me. But for now, I think she doesn't feel so bad that I pay for the groceries I ran out to get for her. Or I pick up the tab at the restaurant. I think she feels better knowing that my other sister and I won't let them go into financial ruin. My older brother, hell, knowing him he'd probably hit her up for a loan while she's out on disability. But, that's just him.

I wish your friend had a more helpful set of siblings. I find with my sister that a little goes such a long way. Sometimes I think just the phone calls alone are a huge help. But also, I think it helps her that she knows I will be there if the finances ever get too much. And I know she won't take advantage of that either. i bet if your friends siblings would just do like you said, drop off some groceries, she'd feel so much better. Or invite her to dinner on a regular basis, one less meal she has to make for herself. Like I said, a little goes a long way.

Heck, friends of mine back home have offered to bring food over! Right now, my sister is holding her own and she LOVES to cook. So that isn't needed. But if it were, I know my friends would be bringing groceries and so would SOME of my siblings. Just can't say they all would.

Not sure if any of that helps or answers your question, but I do hope your friend has better times ahead of her!

EDIT - I should add that I'm single and so no one's well being but mine is dependent on my finances. I wouldn't ruin my own, but I'd go a long way to help my sister with money if she needed it. So I do expect to be the one who can offer her more, I'm just amazed that there is one who offers her nothing. When just a phone call or visit would do immense good.