Hubby is mad that I won't ride......

[gnat23]

It wasn't until I got the proper saddle that I realized that I could ride my bike *and* have sex (not at the same time, of course, silly). I mean, that I didn't have to decide between enjoying one or the other.

I'm usually don't advocate withholding sex from a significant other to get what you want, but you probably have a pretty good case in order to get the proper saddle for this one. If it hoits, it hoits. And that's that.

-- gnat!

[Wahine]

Gnat beat me to it. I am firmly against with holding sex (mostly because I would suffer more) but I have used that line when justifying a new saddle purchase or fit adjustment. And not because I'm being manipulative but because I simply could not tolerate sex because of chaffing and pain. One thing I can say for sure is that he stops bugging me about spending money on a saddle when I bring the topic up.

[Starfish]

So, your hubby posts here on TE? What, pray tell, is his user name?

And, +1 here to so many things already mentioned: bike fit, new saddle, etc. You do not need a controlling husband's permission to go try out as many saddles as it takes to find the right one for you.

[mimitabby]

So, your hubby posts here on TE? What, pray tell, is his user name?

And, +1 here to so many things already mentioned: bike fit, new saddle, etc. You do not need a controlling husband's permission to go try out as many saddles as it takes to find the right one for you.

finally someone asks the question we all want to know!!


btw, Welcome to TE! as you can see, we're a lively bunch filled with great ideas and experience, and we're on YOUR side.

[Starfish]

"Thanks julie once the computer gets fixed ill show her. also thanks Eden, I use looks and have always used them but i was wondering if theres are some pedals that are easier to get in and out of as far as shoes sounds like mountain bike will work for her. and the speed plays look easier . just trying to make everything comfortable for her so she wont wanna quit"

OK, so this is a cut and paste from GeorgiaGirl's hubby when he was asking about which pedals might be best.

So...there isn't much more important than not having one's clitoris or other genitalia screaming in pain while riding, to promote sticking with cycling.

[mimitabby]

OH, he posted using HER user name.

[sgtiger]

Hi GeorigaGirl94! Welcome to TE and the world of cycling! I'd definitely take the advice of others about getting professionally fit on your bike as pain in your girly bits can indicate more than just the saddle being not right for you and should not be ignored or scoffed at for that matter. Besides the immediate problems of being extremely uncomfortable(and I've been there - Ooh, ow, ow! Absolutely not FUN! ), there are some health issues that may arise from it. The friction and pressure from the saddle rubbing may leave you more vunerable to UTI's and yeast infections. Then there's damage of soft tissue and nerves, some of which may be irriversible. These are only a few of the things that come to mind of problems expressed by other riders. So PLEASE listen to your body: it is trying to tell you something and it couldn't make itself more clear!

More important than the saddle issues; however, is communication. It's absolutely key in cycling. This is true for anyone with whom you may ride, but especially true IMHO when riding with your partner. And honoring what each of you has to say is part of good communication. It's really not a bad skill set to have off the bike too. I understand the fustrations of starting out when one partner is more experienced than the other(I'm in your shoes-DH has been cycling for years and my interest didn't pique 'til last year, and I'm kinda a homebody too), and it's only compounded when that partner puts too many expectations on the other. This is a time that the both of you need to exercise lots of patience.(Something I'm not always good at. )

While it's commendable thay you and your DH want to find an activity to spend more quality time together, make sure that it's one that you both enjoy. Quality time should be fun and used to build a stronger, healthier relationship.

~Soo

[Kalidurga]

"Thanks julie once the computer gets fixed ill show her. also thanks Eden, I use looks and have always used them but i was wondering if theres are some pedals that are easier to get in and out of as far as shoes sounds like mountain bike will work for her. and the speed plays look easier . just trying to make everything comfortable for her so she wont wanna quit"

OK, so this is a cut and paste from GeorgiaGirl's hubby when he was asking about which pedals might be best.

So...there isn't much more important than not having one's clitoris or other genitalia screaming in pain while riding, to promote sticking with cycling.

And here I go again with the blasphemy...

While I am totally addicted to cycling, and I can understand wanting to share what you love with your partner, hubby needs to understand that not everyone shares our love of this activity. It's very admirable that he's trying so hard to make things comfortable for her, but he has to also allow the option for her to quit if she chooses to. Maybe I'm reading too much into that little snippet above, but making someone feel as if they have to enjoy your favorite activity is a potential recipe for disaster.

GeorgiaGirl, you've gotta decide for yourself whether or not cycling's something you want to do. If it is, then you've gotten some great advice here to help you get going.

[Trek420]

Adding to the "Hey Hubby" blurbs "Hey DH, let's see how far you ride with sandpaper on the chamois and a few paper clips on choice sensitive areas".

Have you tried "not tonight dear,that saddle is just soooooooo uncomfortable I'm in pain". You'd probably wake up to a selection "here, I got you a dozen different top TE rated saddles. Let's try each till we find the one that's 'love at first sit"

[shootingstar]

Best to drop by LBS yourself and try a different saddle. There's no point trying to convince him otherwise ..when he doesn't have your anatomy. Hopefully you have a receipt for a swap???

A LBS would give the most objective opinion from their perspective..on how often people do come back to try different saddles.

And do some rides yourself on that great bike...you need to build up your endurance, literally and mentally so that you can enjoy rides with him.

I could never be comfortable on my partner's saddle, it's a red hot little Italia..line..narrow profile..

[chicago]

sounds like you need to do two things:

1) tell your husband you don't like being called a b**** just because you don't want to ride
2) tell him to appreciate his wife for who she is... and not who he wants her to be

... and as for the saddle, honestly... if you were really into cycling (and that's perfectly okay that you're not!), you would have found one already that worked. I somehow think the saddle is not the real issue here