What to say?

[CyclaSutra]

What a hard thing to do.

I don't remember the actual talk, I don't think there was one when my parents split up. All I remember is being in the lobby of the courthouse when my dad knelt down and asked me who I wanted to live with. Of course that's not an OK thing to say to an overly sensitive 11-year-old.

So I'm sure you guys have the optimal custody idea worked out between you.

I also like the idea of more scheduled time to talk about it. Much better than ignoring the large pachyderm in the room.

Best wishes.

[tulip]

My heart goes out to you, bike4ever. I'm going through a divorce, but there are no children involved. In my case, it's hard enough as it is. Warm wishes and hugs.

[bike4ever]

Well we had our conversation last night. My husband led the conversation off with positives - how much we love them and our continued emphasis on high expectations for school.

As we predicted, we received 3 completely different responses. Our oldest (15) was quiet and calm. Our middle (13) became extremely angry with an excessive amount of yelling and crying. Our youngest (10) just cried and kept asking why.

I spoke with the middle school and high school counselors yesterday after school. Both were appreciative of the information and would pass it to the appropriate teachers. My husband spoke with the elementary teacher and counselor also after school yesterday.

I have already emailed the two counselors that I spoke with yesterday. I informed them of the individual boys reaction. I have heard from the middle school counselor, and she has already had a calming session with him. She knows that he doesn't like to be pulled out (makes him embarrassed) so she has created a way to speak with him without it being a big middle school ordeal.

So, we started quietly today. We are answering questions as best as possible. We know things will work out - just will take time. I am surprised that I do not have a headache today!