What to say?

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

One minor suggestion-
When you sit them down and tell them, you will have had time to sort out your feelings and words on it all, but to them it will be new and perhaps a shock. I suggest you schedule at least one additional sit down family talk all together a couple days afterwards in order to give them time to formulate their thoughts and feelings first, so they can then give some relevant input of their own.

[bike4ever]

BleeckerSt_Girl - very good suggestion about the additional family talk.

My husband and I have already discussed how we are going to present the news. Positive words, bad news, then positive words.

Everyone has given great suggestions. This is not going to be fun. One thing that we will be explaining to them is that we realize if we stay together, our frustration will come out verbally too much. We don't want the kids exposed to that.

I'm at least working today to distract myself. I sure hope we are busy.

[IFjane]

bike4ever {{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}

Sounds like a trip to VA is in order once you sort through all this. My best to you, your husband, and your children. It is tough. Mine were grown when it happened and it was still very hard. It will eventually be ok, though.

Let me know when you are in the area.

[LBTC]

B4E, I have no experience to draw from on this one, just want you to know I'm sending butterflies of calm, compassion, love and light.

Hugs,
~T~

[bike4ever]

IFjane - I'll actually be in Rhoadesville this Friday. I have to tell my best friend from college our news. Interestingly, each time we have talked lately on the phone she asks what's going on. She knew something was up.

I'll also be heading to Roanoke Easter Sunday to visit my mom. That definitely won't be a fun conversation since she absolutely loves my husband. I'll probably be the one disowned!

[Tuckervill]

You're going to tell the teachers and people at school before you tell your kids?

I don't think that's wise, really. They should be the FIRST to know, no matter what. Forget that they might find out from the wrong person in the wrong way at the wrong time--they don't need to know that you told someone else before you told them, and it's quite possible someone could let it slip. What about the pitying looks they may receive? I think you owe it to your kids not to even subject them to the risk of hearing it from someone else--or knowing that the other person knew before them.

I'm very sorry your family is going through this, and I hope it all works out for the best.

Karen

[HillSlugger]

Mine were 8 and 3 when we separated. The 8yo cried, the 3yo didn't know what was happening. That was back in 1999 so I don't even remember what we told them. We all survived and they are smart, well adjusted, loving kids.

Make sure they know that they are loved and that nothing will ever change that. It will be hard but it should all be ok eventually. My thoughts are with you.