TE rocks (inspired by Queer Eye thread)

[Melalvai]

The other thread started out about clothes, so I thought I'd start a new one to continue the "how great is TE forum" discussion that developed.

I've quit Bike Forums and a cycling advocacy yahoo group because they were so vitriolic. (I quit another yahoo cycling group for an entirely different reason.) TE is civil and there's a lot of intelligent discussion. In general people can disagree respectfully.

I've felt quite amazed at times and wondered how this can be. Is it because TE is small? Or maybe because it is moderated? I have seen evidence of moderation--someone responds to something that bothered them, but I go back through the thread and can't find the original offensive message--that is a sign it was deleted by a moderator. Thought some people might get upset at being censored, I think active and aggressive moderators are the difference between a nasty group and a caring one like this.

So, thanks to all for being respectful and compassionate, and many thanks to moderators who weed out disrespect and inappropriateness!

[mimitabby]

TE is smaller, that's true, but I prefer it to another board which is heavily moderated to the point of ridiculousness. I might add that TE has an excellent speedy platform. I am so spoiled that I HATE to go to the other forum, because it is so slow and cumbersome to use.
Not to mention that I can go to Shopping with ONE CLICK any time.

[Veronica]

I think part of it is that we are a real community.

In a real community you don't deliberately tick off your neighbors by letting your dog dig up their petunias.

And if you discover that your dog has been digging up the petunias, you don't blame your neighbor or the petunias. You take responsibility for your dog and do your best to make amends.

When your neighbor replaces the ruined petunias with daffodils you graciously accept them.

I have no idea where that came from. But it was a nice break from working on my report cards.


V.

[Duck on Wheels]

Hmmm. What makes TE different from other forums ...?

I think it helps that we're (mostly) wimmin. I doubt it's genetic, but at some cultural level we're certainly programmed to be considerate of others. Also, wimmin are often delegated the task of writing the family letters, keeping communication lines open. And the few men who hang out here are those who feel comfortable as participants in that kind of social climate. So, mebbe we've got, on average, a pretty high level of experience at expressing ourselves, including in writing, with some subtlety and diplomacy.

That may be why we're overall pretty mature about the niceties of internet interactions. Communicating with the speed of the Internet but with the limitations of the written-only word can be tetchy at times. F'rinstance irony, including self-irony, is hard to convey. So somebody might try to poke fun at themselves and be taken as having insulted somebody else. It takes mature folks to make allowances and apologies and move on. I've seen that done here on several occasions.

I think it also helps that we feel safe making face2face contact with one another when the opportunity arises. Some here have started out as strangers, then actually met, mebbe done rides together, partied ... generally had fun Some who bat for the women's team have even fallen in love And yet, the women's team gets along pretty well with the mixed team, and vice versa. As my sister says, it's all cool. Once we get to a certain level of trust, where "it's all cool" is taken as a basic premise, most wrinkles in the social fabric can be ironed out when they occasionally arise.

[jesvetmed]

I'm only a short timer here, but I totally agree with what you all have said. There are not any other sites I have felt comfortable enough when reading to actually jump in and SAY something! Everyone is supportive and caring no matter what level of training ( or not training) we are all at. And so far everyone seems to be completely "tactful". I, for one, appreciate it!

[sundial]

Women folk tend to be more civil.

We do have nice gentlemen here as well who provide a refreshing perspective.

[Trek420]

Hmmm. What makes TE different from other forums ...?

On the other forums we sit back while we flame and/or our flamed. But on TE we get together and ride, then recline and have chocolate, maybe a lemon drop

[MM_QFC!]

On the other forums we sit back while we flame and/or our flamed. But on TE we get together and ride, then recline and have chocolate, maybe a lemon drop

or maybe even Drambuie - if Bruno is around!
But, then again, she's not lately, is she?? Cuz, methinks her sweetie is visiting, right, Bruno???

[mimitabby]

yes, recently that countdown was down to 1... so... let's play some nice waltzes and maybe a few scottish tunes.

[Zen]

I think part of it is that we are a real community.

As in christmas card exchanges, coffee&tea exchange, SS, and random acts of kindness (somebody should look for some socks soon)

[sgtiger]

My .02

While I do agree that our moderators are wonderful[Hi, guys!],IMVHO I believe that TE's most prolific posters help set the tone for this board.

[mimitabby]

I'll take that as a compliment.

[salsabike]

I think part of it is that we are a real community.

In a real community you don't deliberately tick off your neighbors by letting your dog dig up their petunias.

And if you discover that your dog has been digging up the petunias, you don't blame your neighbor or the petunias. You take responsibility for your dog and do your best to make amends.

When your neighbor replaces the ruined petunias with daffodils you graciously accept them.

I have no idea where that came from. But it was a nice break from working on my report cards.


V.

Veronica, that was funny as hell.

And...I think on this particular forum, the intentions of virtually everybody are genuinely good, even if things occasionally and inadvertently go slightly sideways. I mean, I really do think that is the case here. Knowing that helps you get past the occasional torn petunia and keep talking--and want to keep talking to--your neighbor.

[Bad JuJu]

keep talking--and want to keep talking to--your neighbor.

I think it's the "keep talking" that works so well here. Emphasis on "talking"--that is, not flaming. When things begin to go "slightly sideways" (love that phrase, Salsa!), we talk it over. Not to say that there are never any ruffled feathers, but things seem to get smoothed out pretty quickly.

And I agree that it's great that there's a sort of foundational layer of regular posters that seem to keep the tone friendly and relatively even (with occasional spikes for bike porn ), but all comers are welcome. I come and go myself--busy life, like everyone else's--but TE is like the home you can always come back to, to relax and refresh, for bike talk, for other kinds of talk, even for chocolate and lemon drops!

[bmccasland]

yeppers, I think we know we need to play nice in the sandbox. Now if Brandi would give sandcastle building lessons....

I admit I'm a TE forum junkie. MUST have my daily fix. MUST HAVE IT. If I'm silly enough to transfer to Seattle, at least I'll have lots of friends to ride with, and you might not leave me in the dust either. Does it get dusty up there?

I like that we can have a difference of opinion, but for the most part we respect the fact that we're allowed to have a difference, discuss it, and move / ride / on.

I salute my TE sisters & brothers with a toast of my morning coffee.