Just found these forums -- how cool! I'm a new cyclist, as well, and also pretty large (I fall on the high end of misses sizes, or the very low end of plus sizes). I have been horrified, though not terribly surprised, to find that bike clothing runs, um, really small for the most part. "Normal" XL's almost always fit me comfortably, but not so with bike clothing (shorts okay, jerseys no way).

As to the lycra fear, I hear ya and I understand. I just decided when I really started riding that my comfort on the bike was far more important than my vanity. So I don't worry about wearing lycra shorts. I do carry a pair of normal shorts, a knee-length skirt, or a pair of capris with me when I ride if I know I'm going to have to go into a store or a restaurant -- I just slip them on over the bike shorts, so I can feel comfortable surrounded by people who aren't seeing me on the bike.

It's hard to do, I know -- but you just have to do your best to get over worrying about what other people are going to think. And remember, a lot of people who see you will be secretly cheering you on for being out exercising, no matter how bad you think you look.