Guilt!

[Brandi]

I agree with all that has been written. I would just add...maybe don't work so hard at changing your feelings right now? Just keep moving along with your plans and your trip, know that you need to take care of yourself to keep taking care of your family (I know this from experience), and let the feelings be what they are. Don't beat yourself up for feeling happy when that happens, and don't beat yourself up for feeling guilty, if that happens.

Hope this doesn't come across as preachy...I know in my own life, the harder I fight whatever feelings I'm having, the longer they bother me. When I relax and accept how I'm feeling, the more difficult feelings depart more quickly.

You sound like a great sister and aunt. You are wise to take care of your health, your marriage, and your relaxation needs. Take care of yourself today, and let any feelings that come up on the trip take care of themselves on that day, when it arrives.

Again, hope not too preachy.

Not preachy at all but very insightful and wise. And you are right if I just relax and let things happen as they happen it might not be that bad. Thank you.

[Brandi]

Yes, do that! What a beautiful thing to do! Get one for you that matches, too; then all of you are connected and so is your trip to Hawaii. What a great idea!

Thanks for 2nding the idea.

[nancielle]

Many years ago when my younger brother was dying, I was spending my weekends driving to New York State to spend time with him in the hospital. Friends of mine got me tickets to see a pro football game (Patriots/49ers.) I had never been to a pro game and really wanted to go. My immediate family was cool with it. My extended family thought I was the Spawn of Satan for even thinking of going. I talked it over with my brother and his response was that my not going wasn't going to change the course of his illness and that he was getting bored with the death vigil as it was and would welcome a conversation other than about his health. He was looking forward to talking about the game. I'm glad I went and got to talk to him about it.

I agree with what some of the other posters have stated: You need to take care of you before you can take care of others. Have a good time.

[Tuckervill]

Dear Brandi,

You won't help your niece or sister by feeling guilty, skipping your trip to Hawaii, or feeling that it's wrong to enjoy yourself while you're there.

Our hearts are so large, Brandi, that they can hold joy and sorrow at the same time. Go to Hawaii. Celebrate your friend's recovery & your husband's birthday. Let the sun and wind and water feel as good as they feel on your skin. You can hold it all, the joy and the sorrow, your heart is that big. You can honor your niece and the spirit of cherishing life while we have it, by cherishing your life and living your days as well as you can.

Blueskies

The truth of this brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful way to look at life. Thanks.

Karen

[Brandi]

The truth of this brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful way to look at life. Thanks.

Karen

I know it is wonderful. I need to write this down in a journal so I can go back to it again and again.