Dear So and So

[IFjane]

.... here's a free one way ticket to Palukaville. Bon voyage.

Lisa- {{{{HUG}}}}

I have no surviving brother to feel that way about - thankfully - but my soon-to-be-DH does, and we would love to send him to Palukaville as well.

Take care, hang in there, be strong and DON'T LET HIM GET TO YOU!

[Velobambina]

Lisa---Sounds like you are doing the right thing for yourself. Having toxic siblings myself, I know it isn't easy but it's for the best to know when to let go.

[Velobambina]

Dear Boss---I should have trusted my excellent "people radar" skills and not agreed to work for you. Yesterday, someone who's had professional contact/association with you for years told me that you are a backstabber, verifying my increasingly sinking feeling that it really is all about you. Please don't lie if my home office management calls you to confirm that the job I'm in is NOT the job you promised.

I don't like working for you--you spread chaos due to your ramped up Type A personality, lack of organization, and overuse of caffeine. I could deal with it IF I had real work. Please put your overblown ego aside and recognize the TRUTH -- there is no work available commensurate w/my grade & skill levels. It's not really even your fault because it's due to the budget cuts.

Dear Home Office Boss---Let me come home! Please look over the matrix I sent you, clearly showing that what was promised is not the reality. I'll take an assignment no one else wants just to be fully utilized and contributing to mission again.

Dear Self---If you are stuck completing this rotation, focus on the fact that you have only until 30 September and in July, you can start applying for other jobs. Endeavor to make lemonade out of lemons and to find humor in the situation.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Thank you TE sisters.

[Tuckervill]

Lisa, that sounds just like something I could have written about my eldest brother, but my mom is still alive. Remember your anger and resentment just damages you, not him. You could do like I did. I wrote all my diatribes and rants and accusations and vents out on a blog and posted it for all the world to see, using his real name. I never publicized it, and search terms don't find it, so I doubt it has ever been read by anyone at all. Every once in a while, when I am guilted by my mom or somehow drawn back into his world, I go out and reread and post, and remind myself why I am severing all possible ties.

I feel for you, because it's hard to "walk the fine line between self-respect and self-abuse" just for your parent's sake.

Be true.

Karen

[MM_QFC!]

Hang in there, Lisa - you've had lots to deal with and this very painful decision wasn't made lightly, I'm sure. Anyone who chooses to be an a**hole in my life prompts the same decision from me. There should not be any need to have to walk on eggshells so as not to upset someone, especially a sibling, f'chrissakes. Hopefully, he'll grow up and get healthy and realize the huge loss in not having the gift of his sister in his life - whew!
(((Lisa)))
Mary

[deedolce]

Lisa,
I agree with all the others...he's a head case and no one, especially family, needs to tolerate his abuse! I hope he gets help.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Lisa, that sounds just like something I could have written about my eldest brother, but my mom is still alive. Remember your anger and resentment just damages you, not him. You could do like I did. I wrote all my diatribes and rants and accusations and vents out on a blog...Every once in a while, when I am guilted by my mom or somehow drawn back into his world, I go out and reread and post, and remind myself why I am severing all possible ties.

Thanks again every one of you. I was able to vent to my wonderful DH and also discussed it with a good girlfriend this morning on our walk. That felt good. I've decided that as a therapeutic medicine I am going to make an actual One-way ticket to Palukaville. I am a graphic illustrator so this will be a fun little project and a way to work through my feelings. I would love to actually mail it to him in an envelope with no note, ....but that would be pretty immature, so I'll just keep it as a symbolic statement.
I've always thought that creating something physical from a painful experience is a good thing, whether it's a drawing, poem, planting a flower or tree, a blog, voodoo doll, or whatever.
Mary- you are right about the stepping on eggshells business. That's the exact description my mother used to give me about her relationship with this brother of mine. He has some major issues and though he took some anger management sessions once years ago, he never got the real one-on-one type of longterm therapy he needs so badly. He won't admit he has a problem, blames everyone else for everything, and I've finally had enough of it.
It's a sad thing to give up on the idea of having him as a true brother, but it's been going on long enough and I want to move forward in a positive way now, and leave him and his creepy anger issues behind me. The bad vibes will always be there when I think of him, but I will try to keep myself positive about my part in it all. I am working on not being angry and resentful, as I do know that all that does is make me feel bad, and I shouldn't feel bad because I haven't done anything bad! (what a concept, huh?)
It's good to know I'm not alone in dealing with such things.

[solobiker]

Lisa I am happy for you. I have a sister who is so very rude, condesending, overpowering, etc. Thankfully I live about 1700 miles away from her. When I called to wish her a happy birhtday all she did was complain about how busy she is and how frustrated she is with her children and that she hs LOTS of paperwork. First of all she does not work, second of all she should be happy she has children as I can not have any. Also she always says to me"must be nice to go biking and hiking, I have to ...." insert what ever she thinks she needs to do. I guess a few weeks ago there was a big wind storm near her and my parents house so she had to help do a little clean up, it actually was probably her husband that did the work and her bossing him around. She always tries to make me feel guilty. When I was back visiting them she introduced me to one of her friends and her friend said " I didn't know you had a sister". Same thing happed when I visited my "snow bird" parents in Florida. The introduced me to some of their friends and they said " we thought you only had 1 daughter and a son" My moms response to that was "this is our best kept secret" Best kept secret my Butt...... So Lisa, I hope I can find the strenght that you have..

[Geonz]

Velobambina... oh, I am *hoping* you can extricate yourself from the toxic work situation... use that good radar to guide what you say and do.

Dear person,
C'mon. I think it's time for the next step. I know there's years between us but that's no excuse. The Christmas present is nifty and ya gave it to me in front of everybody ... you *know* how I feel about you... think it's time to heal and move forward? C'mon, you don't even have to explain at least that one chunk of baggage 'cause I was there for it. C'mon, you can do it...