Dear So and So

[sulis]

Dear fellow co-worker,

I know you are extremely excited about your pregnancy. I'm happy for you too, I really am. I know how long you have wanted this. But pregnancy does not mean you have the right to slack off. I'm tired of hearing you talk to everyone in the office for the first 3 hours of your shift every day about what is new with the baby, etc etc etc. Only to be followed by who knows how many personal calls of the same discussion. Now hang up the phone and get back to work. I'm sick of doing all your stuff. Argh!!

[Velobambina]

Dear Winter---Go away.

Dear Boss---Since I passed that incredibly difficult certification exam (without the benefit of the five-day preparation class), do you now understand why I decided to study instead of going to the holiday parties & getting "face" time?

[Blueberry]

Dear Boss---Since I passed that incredibly difficult certification exam (without the benefit of the five-day preparation class), do you now understand why I decided to study instead of going to the holiday parties & getting "face" time?

Congrats

CA

[IFjane]

Dear Winter---Go away.

Dear Boss---Since I passed that incredibly difficult certification exam (without the benefit of the five-day preparation class), do you now understand why I decided to study instead of going to the holiday parties & getting "face" time?

What CA said!

{{{{HUGS}}}} to you, VB!!

[bmccasland]

Dear Water Department,
In case you didn't notice the garbage out on the curb, and the furnishings visible through the blinds, I haven't moved, and my house isn't vacant. Why didn't the tech notice this and knock on my door when he came to yank the meter on the "vacant" house. Fortunately I was home sick at the time. Looked like your tech saw a ghost when I walked out the door of a "vacant house", come on I didn't look that bad. At least the supervisor gave the OK for him to give me a new meter.

Now will you explain, once again why I had to pay another deposit for my account that I didn't close, and I didn't receive the refund check? If you put a stop payment on the check, why am I paying twice? And I'm supposed to trust you that it'll all work out in the end? Why couldn't I just pay my December bill? The one I didn't receive because I didn't move to Montana? What good southerner would move to Montana, IN THE WINTER???

[Tuckervill]

Dear New Sports Editor at the weekly paper:

I know you're not from around here. I know you don't understand why we need to put our baseball registration form in the paper. I know you don't know the difference between "their" and "there". (Making the by-line "staff reports" and swiping most of the article from our FAQ does not absolve you.) But could you please just RESPOND when I email you important announcements?? Don't make me have to call you and hear that you read it already. What are you, 15?

Leaving out important announcements and then using two full column for your YOUR IGNORANT MUSINGS is just wrong. You won't help me, I'm not going to help you fill your space, either, when the only thing going on in July is baseball.

Sign ups are in less than 2 weeks. YOU ARE NOT HELPING. I'm not the only league official you're going to tick off--softball and soccer are coming up, too. You're not from around here. You actually could lose your job over this.

Signed,
Not Asking Too Much

[OakLeaf]

Dear goddesses of menopause and menstruation,

I have to admit I wasn't too impressed this spring when I started bleeding like an 18-year-old in the middle of our Italian vacation, which was the first period I'd had in months.

So you can't blame me for being a little apprehensive last week when my body started acting like another period was 1-3 weeks away. With my first 5K coming up a week from Saturday and all.

But now it's here, it'll be gone before then, and I'll have had a nice healthy dose of youthful hormones to keep me going in the race.

Thanks.

[indysteel]

Dear Friend: I'm very happy for you and your upcoming wedding and I'm honored to be a bridesmaid given our twenty-year friendship. But you're turning into Bridezilla. I think it's tacky to register for your honeymoon and I really didn't appreciate being given a list of "expectations" when you asked me to be in your wedding party. It doesn't help that one of your bridesmaids is rolling in money and thinks the rest of us are free to spend oodles and oodles of it on your bridal festivities. And why, at the age of 38, must we wear matching, unflattering bridesmaid dresses? In periwinkle? Oh, and telling your matron of honor that her hopes of getting pregnant this spring would complicate choosing a dress is, well, just wrong.

I'll admit that I don't have the bride gene. I dream of eloping, preferably on a bike. At this age, I can think of twenty other things I'd rather do with my time and money. I dare say (at the risk of offending anyone else) that it all seems sort of silly. That said, I can live with your desire to have a big wedding, but if you get all "it's my day" on me--and make that day last something more like a month--then we're going to have words.

Cheers.

[Tuckervill]

I'm lol'ing over that one, Indy. Seriously, just back out now, and you won't get hurt.

Karen