I am so sorry that you are going through this. It can't have been easy for your mother and stepfather to decide to do and it really can't be easy to talk about it with you and your sister.

My parents have never been divorced but I know the threat of tradition being taken away. My parents still live in the house I grew up in but they periodically talk about selling and that kind of makes me upset. There are constants in life and it's unsettling to think of those things changing.

Brandi is right about your marriage though; it is yours and you have the power to make it what it is. DH's parents and mine have never been divorced but both of us have. What their parents did (or didn't do) didn't prevent us from having divorces. We learned from our parents and ourselves though and what we want from our relationship. We aren't always perfect but we try and we accept each other as we are. But not to go off track here.

If relatives want to talk about it, tell them you don't want to. It's your life and you have the power to say if something makes you uncomfortable. Even though you're tapering, you can go for walks, right? Or shop. Or hang out with your sister and talk about what's going on. It sounds like you have relatives you are close to and that helps.

Even though I've been divorced, I still don't understand it. I read an essay once that spoke about divorce and how you'd never kick grandma to the side because her cookies aren't as good now or you wouldn't disown family members for no other reason than just because the "feelings aren't there anymore". We have such high expectations from spouses and they are just people too. Both people have to want the marriage though and it's sad when things happen that make someone decide to end it.