I used to have the same problem with the Desitin. It starts oozing through onto the bike seat as well as being impossible to get out of the pants. I read here on TE that zinc oxide type ointment holds bacteria. I switched to Butt'r and it works great, comes out and even comes in little packets to bring along with you which is great.
As for the rub, I can only say that I put in 3-4000 miles a year and do best with the Terry saddles--the liberator on my touring bike and a lighter one on my light weight bike. In spinning class I use a gel seat w/a cutout.
Good luck!