another one without a bike it seems

[OakLeaf]

Ohio is too hilly.
Florida's too flat.
Other riders drop me
Because I'm slow and fat.

I'm going through the menopause
(A word with which nothing rhymes).
Now I get my period only at
The worst possible of times.

[mimitabby]

bikes, bikes, yellow bikes, blue bikes
big bikes little bikes. Orange bikes, mountain bikes,
bikes with fenders, bikes with lights,
bikes with funny handlebars. Bikes that have side cars,
bikes that are made to go far, bikes that have chrome
pieces, bikes that fit my nieces.
Bikes with lugs, bikes with plugs, bikes that can dodge
from bugs. Bikes for boys, bikes for girls, bikes with colors like
blue pearl. Bikes from the 50's these are nifty; but so are those
from the 70's, 40's and 60's.
Bikes for summer, bikes for winter, bikes made of polymers of silver.
There are so many bikes, ... and I can only ride them one at a time.

[Starfish]

To the tune of Jingle Bells:

Riding through the rain,
My girly bits in pain,
O’er the sand and glass,
Hey driver, kiss my @ss!
Dang I’ve got so fat,
And shoot, another flat,
If I survive this winter clime I’ll have to eat my hat!

Refrain:

Oh, Santa sucks, I need more bucks, to get me a rain bike!
So I can ride these winter roads with no blood pressure spike!
Santa sucks, I need more bucks, just want to see some sun!
I need to get out of this rain or honestly, I’m done!

[solobiker]

Ohio is too hilly.
Florida's too flat.
Other riders drop me
Because I'm slow and fat.

I'm going through the menopause
(A word with which nothing rhymes).
Now I get my period only at
The worst possible of times.

That made me laugh, way too funny and just the way I feel. Thanks

[KnottedYet]

man, you guys are so good!

[cylegoddess]

I want to ride to work but work is too far
Worse I have to sit on bus,watching cute guys ride by
No chats at the lights about what new cycle to buy
I dont own a car
so cant to get the races on saturday
My paycheck doesnt have enough pay
For the carbon fibre cycles even on sale
their asking price is beyond the pale
My shorts look like a sausage skin
The chamois too cheap and digs right in
Why doesnt orbea have bike I can afford?
How long will this last ,oh lord
my cycling lust
my tires gone bust
and Im too frail to go on the big weekend ride today
I used to think my thighs were large now they are too small
To ride in the races(5 km), ride home( 20 km) and ride there( 20km), at all!
Ive got the new rider blues...