Dear So and So

[salsabike]

Dear Mom and Dad,

My first Thankgiving without either of you is coming up. Won't be easy, since that was our big big family holiday. I just wanted you to know how much I miss you guys and what cool, smart, sane, loving, funny parents you were. We got lucky. Thanks.

Daddy, you will always be the Scrabble King of the Universe. Mom, I will always miss that hug.

Love to you. I miss you no end.

[deedolce]

Dear Male Friend,
I've finally realized that when I get bi*chy, and grumpy and pull away it's because I've picked up the myraid unconscious clues that you're developing feelings that have crossed the boundaries of 'friendship'. When you make suggestions of 'stopping by' my house to pick me up on the way to the group tennis game, or taking things personally and carry them from week to week if I don't compliment your shot, or apologize if I accidently nail you. Just brush it off, like we all do, and like you do for everyone else. Don't act hurt, don't drop hints of wanting me to ask you every weekend to ride, don't wonder if I'm mad if I walk off talking with someone else in our group and not wait for you. I'm not your girlfriend!!! You have a WIFE. Get her on a tandem. Worry about how she feels/thinks/does and leave me alone, thank you very much.

[lph]

(((Salsabike)))

Next one will be easier, I promise.

[nomummytummy]

Dear school kids - well I figure you are school kids. Why did you steal from my letter box? OK I could have taken the parcel out when I went to get the kids from school & pre-school, but it is exciting to find mail in the box for you when you are 5, so I left the parcel there for him to find. But no- 45 min later after going to 1 pre-school & 2 schools to collect 3 kids the parcel was gone from our mail box. Noone saw you so you are home clean. But a little 5 year old is now less innocent & naive as he know someone STOLE his birthday present from the letter box. You couldn't see our box from the street, but you came onto our property, opened the parcel & then threw the wrapping and cards into a hedge. You know that sux & karma means that it will happen to you one day too. I hope you recall the day you stole from a 5 year old who was still innocent and full of joy.

[nomummytummy]

OK now gratitude - thank you universe for our great life. We are so privileged to live here - with a beautiful view, so close to the city & yet so quite. Thankyou that I get to leave work at 2 each day to collect our 3 boys & spend the afternoons with them & they are happy, joy filled kids. thanx for my dishy DH who is supportive and makes lots of time for me to ride. I am so lucky thankyou

[crazycanuck]

(((( salsa)))

NMT-that happened to us in Auckland as well

Ok..

Dear Universe

Thank you for providing me with a wonderful kiwi man. He's been oh so extra helpful since i've been injured.

Muchly appreciated.

injuredcyclistgoingcrazy

[bmccasland]

Miss Daisy,
You are long since elegible to retire, WHY haven't you? Did you feel uncomfortable yesterday when we were hastling M because that meeting was his last since he's retiring, and he's 20 years younger than you. Do you really intend to die in your office? You're barely functionable, need a walker to get around, can't drive, can't even eat solid food. Have the good grace to retire. Please?

[bambu101]

Dear Extremely Obese Co-Worker,

It is bad enough that I am struggling to lose weight, but did you have to bring in FIVE bags of Hershey's Kisses this past Monday? There is milk chocolate, almond, hot chocolate, candy cane, and something else. Then you helpfully put them on the common table in our "quad" cubicle area so anyone can help themselves. When I complained, you had the nerve to turn on your desk fan and point it in my direction so that I could smell nothing but chocolate!

Thanks a lot.

Ps. Please skip the "cheese fudge" that you are planning on making and bringing in. Some awful recipe with Velveeta and cocoa and peanut butter!

[OakLeaf]

Dear Dad,

Get the f*** over yourself.

Love (not),

OakLeaf

[Blueberry]

Dear Mom and Dad-

Grow up. You were not parents to me - remember, my grandparents raised me?

You are not entitled to expect parenting from me. I will not loan you money the next time you buy a new truck and don't have enough money left for your house payment AND food. I will not make every decision in your lives for you. I will not bail you out the next time you ignore my advice and end up in a legal mess.

Grow up - you certainly made me!

CA

[Tuckervill]

Dear Sharper Image Manager,

It is unfathomable that you would prefer to be right than get a sale! Yes, you are "certain" that the Rip-Stik was not marked down on Wednesday, when my son and I spent 30 minutes in your store looking it over and talking to the sales person who helped him learn how to make the demo model go. You're "certain" there was no little plastic price tag holder there on the counter that had the mark down price in red pen, the holder that I held in my hand to read because the type is so small.

If Black Friday was the last day this item was marked down, then why was the little plastic holder still there on Wednesday when we stood there considering the purchase?

Oh, I know--the little plastic holder was GONE today because you finally found it there, left over from Black Friday, and you realized your mistake--otherwise I wouldn't have had to stop you and ask you in the first place what the price of the Rip-Stick was!

I am "certain" I'm not paying any part of your xmas bonus this year, as you most certainly must have noticed as you saw my fine behind walking out your door!

Signed,
The Customer, who is always right

[Andrea]

Dear tube/tire gods-

WTF is up with all the flats the past few days? 5 on the Saturday group ride?!?!?! Two at the guerillacross race yesterday?! Two for me today? I'm sitting here waiting for the LBS to open at 10:00 so I can get my ride in for the day. It's NOT FUNNY. STOP DOING IT.

Andrea

[bmccasland]

Dear Mama's Boy in the office,
Why are you whining about it raining this morning and the possibility that you'll get your shoes wet this afternoon? It's 8 am, and you're not leaving the office for 8 more hours! You're "dress" tennis shoes will survive. Quit ur belly achen! Now we'll get to listen to your heavy sighs all freaking day as you stress about the weather and that you just know your feet will get wet, then you'll catch a cold, and be miserable. You're going to mama, she'll take care of you. Or maybe she'll finally tell you to get a spine, quit whining, and grow up.

[KnottedYet]

Dear Work Gods and Goddesses,

Thank you for the wonderful job! Not only is it fabulous in so many ways, but we employees get two holiday lunches and $100 gift cards (which will really help my xmas shopping)

[vmax]

I know that this will be a wee bit selfish on my part but . . . it's been a few too many years since I've had a date, much less a new year's eve date. Do you think that, with all the men in the world, you could direct one -- just one man to my doorstep?

And since I'm asking, it should be a man who is happy, content in his life's role, an equal partner in many ways, has an adventureous spirit, is loving and caring and of course, he needs to be tall and handsome . . .

I'll be waiting