Hugs, Veronica. I so feel where you are right now.
The others are right, of course - it will get better. We each have our own way to deal with loss, so I say just go with each moment of grief as it comes and don't fret about it. It's ok to be sad. Someone further up the thread said to make yourself get up, start your workout, and give yourself 10 minutes. I like this advice. Myself, I find the best times to deal with my emotions is when I'm focused during exercise. In fact, I crave exercise more when I'm going through something trying.
Petwise, what helped me through the passing of my beloved dog Roxy from cancer three years ago is to just imagine her there with me. It was a comfort to think that her spirit may be there, if only in my imagination. Yea, I cried often and at strange moments, especially when I would pass the pet cemetary next to the freeway where I had her cremated. I'm sure other motorists thought I was loony.
Roxy's death left me petless for the first time since I was an infant and with an immense gap in the family unit. So, I knew we would eventually get another pet, but I did not feel ready for about 5 solid months. After that, I started visiting the local shelter in search of the particular breed we had picked out. Being around those dogs helped too.
In time, about 6 months to the day after Roxy's exit, we welcomed home Mayah. She filled that gap and then some! Interestingly, Mayah was about 6 months old when she joined us. So, I figure Mayah was born around the same time Roxy died. Just the thought of that brings me comfort too -- because Mayah is as old as Roxy's death, it's almost like Mayah was literally sent from doggie heaven. She's three now, and just had a birthday.
Take care, V. I'll be thinking of ya.
~BikeMomma (Kim)
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein