Dear So and So

[bmccasland]

Miss Daisy,
You are long since elegible to retire, WHY haven't you? Did you feel uncomfortable yesterday when we were hastling M because that meeting was his last since he's retiring, and he's 20 years younger than you. Do you really intend to die in your office? You're barely functionable, need a walker to get around, can't drive, can't even eat solid food. Have the good grace to retire. Please?

[bambu101]

Dear Extremely Obese Co-Worker,

It is bad enough that I am struggling to lose weight, but did you have to bring in FIVE bags of Hershey's Kisses this past Monday? There is milk chocolate, almond, hot chocolate, candy cane, and something else. Then you helpfully put them on the common table in our "quad" cubicle area so anyone can help themselves. When I complained, you had the nerve to turn on your desk fan and point it in my direction so that I could smell nothing but chocolate!

Thanks a lot.

Ps. Please skip the "cheese fudge" that you are planning on making and bringing in. Some awful recipe with Velveeta and cocoa and peanut butter!

[OakLeaf]

Dear Dad,

Get the f*** over yourself.

Love (not),

OakLeaf

[Blueberry]

Dear Mom and Dad-

Grow up. You were not parents to me - remember, my grandparents raised me?

You are not entitled to expect parenting from me. I will not loan you money the next time you buy a new truck and don't have enough money left for your house payment AND food. I will not make every decision in your lives for you. I will not bail you out the next time you ignore my advice and end up in a legal mess.

Grow up - you certainly made me!

CA

[Tuckervill]

Dear Sharper Image Manager,

It is unfathomable that you would prefer to be right than get a sale! Yes, you are "certain" that the Rip-Stik was not marked down on Wednesday, when my son and I spent 30 minutes in your store looking it over and talking to the sales person who helped him learn how to make the demo model go. You're "certain" there was no little plastic price tag holder there on the counter that had the mark down price in red pen, the holder that I held in my hand to read because the type is so small.

If Black Friday was the last day this item was marked down, then why was the little plastic holder still there on Wednesday when we stood there considering the purchase?

Oh, I know--the little plastic holder was GONE today because you finally found it there, left over from Black Friday, and you realized your mistake--otherwise I wouldn't have had to stop you and ask you in the first place what the price of the Rip-Stick was!

I am "certain" I'm not paying any part of your xmas bonus this year, as you most certainly must have noticed as you saw my fine behind walking out your door!

Signed,
The Customer, who is always right