I've started having real b-day parties for my dd on what I call "milestone" birthdays. Like age 10, 13, 16 etc. I'm not going to throw around cash I don't always have just to put on a show once a yr. Besides the big parties will be more meaningful. My dd went to one of her girlfriends parties back in summer and she was the only one besides cousins that showed up. Personally I liked it that way, not too many people and they were a nice family and I liked the girl too. She has another frind the same age we trade parties with and her mom and I are good friends.
There was one party several years ago that while we were there, the folks just dissappeared into the bedroom while we there and just didn't come out for awhile. I personally thought it was rude, but didn't say anything. I'm still friends with them(known them for years) I just shy away from get togethers at their house for this reason(I don't think it dawned on them they were being rude). But it's old news and I'm not concerned with it. Jennifer