Old Fart chiming in . . . . I don't recall anyone have birthday parties involving the entire class when I was growing up, either for me or my brother. When one of us had a B-day party, we were allowed to invite a few friends (like 3 because they could fit in the back seat of the car) and we went on a special outing. I was raised by two teacher parents and one set of teacher grandparents. Invitations were made via the phone or in person to the friend's parents, not the child, in case the child couldn't go for some reason.

Things like Valentines delivered in the classroom were an all or nothing rule, but parties were private affairs.

mtbdarby, can't you ask your son if he has a few special friends and take the time one day to be at school when their parents come to pick them up (or drop off)? Or ask him to give a note to the friend to deliver to the parents? Give them your contact info.

-- SK who doesn't get these gigantic parties for entire classes which just cost a ton of money and competition and greed and . . . and . . .