Dealing with a hard decision

[sandra]

Hubby and I have sat and cried for the last hour and been over every option at least 10 more times back and forth. If it is possible, I think it is harder on my hubby than it is on me.

He does not feel that the vet intended any harm or cruelty. He thinks the he was just doing what he could do to save the dog. We know how hard it is for them to put one down. We have seen another female vet there crying and unable to talk because she had just had to put one down.

Hubby just left. I couldn't go. I just can't go there. He is going to talk with the vet. He also took his bed. If he goes home with someone else, I want him to have something familiar. His bed. I would have sent toys, but he doesn't play with any toys. He is just a lap dog.

[Triskeliongirl]

Hi Sandra, I am so soorry you have to go through this, but if it were me, I think I would be grateful that someone was willing to assume the cost of caring for an animal that I loved and could no longer afford to care for. I don't think its cruel, you already made the hard decision to draw the line financially. You shouldn't feel guilty about that, we all have limited resources and priorities, and taking care of home and family should come first. But knowing the dog is sickly, and its probably not just this one surgery, I think you should rest easy knowing that someone is willing to take on the financial burden. What financial arrangments he makes with his office staff is really between him and them, I am sure he is giving them a break, but it's probably part of their compensation pacakge (many people get discounts where they work), so maybe that is the best situation for a dog that is likely to require further expensive care. Rest easy, knowing this hard decision gives him the best gift you can, LIFE.

[sandra]

This has been comforting to hear all of the different thoughts. Thank you so much. I'm glad to be a part of TE!

[rij73]

I hope I didn't sound too harsh. Of course you should do what you think is right, and it really isn't easy...

Personally, I still think the vet is wrong to put you in this position. Do they do this to everyone who decides to have their dog put to sleep? It's such an agonizing decision to make, that once you make it, it should be final. The vet shouldn't put you on an emotional roller coaster. It's basically like their saying that you don't know what's best so they are taking the dog away from you...

Again, big HUG... I can't imagine what you are going through.

[sandra]

Bull had a stone the size of a bb and never would have passed it. The vet said that the surgery went well and he was doing OK. The vet said he was going to take him home with him tonight.

Hubby told the vet it was the hardest thing he had ever had to do to which the vet vet replied "I couldn't put him down"....

I'm glad he is doing good and in good hands.

[rij73]

This will be my last post here because I don't want my point of view to make it harder on you... Seems the decision has been made. I'll just say in closing that if the vet just couldn't put him down, then he should have offered to do the surgery for free and give him back to you. Otherwise he should have done what you, the kind and thoughtful owners of the dog, had decided. I believe he is very wrong and unprofessional to take Bull home with him.

[Blueberry]

Sandra-

I'm so glad he made it through!! I think the vet is just taking him home for the night, right??? Any more news on where he goes after that??

Hugs to you!!

CA

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Sandra,
You and your husband need to be strong now and be happy that Bull is doing well.
This was a complex situation where one could look at it from various viewpoints and each viewpoint has it's own "right" and "wrong" angles. It's easy to see it in a negative way, but will that actually make the situation better for either you or your dog? Every viewpoint is valid.

I think the important thing is to be happy that your dog is going to be getting the best of medical care from now on and will certainly continue to be a well loved doggie as well. You did right by him.

[sandra]

yes, he is taking him home for the night because he had a serious surgery and he wants to make sure he is cared for and OK tonight.

[ilima]

I guess I have that question too. Would that person pay for the surgery, or would it be done for free and they get to keep the dog?

See, that's not right.

It is right, though. Even though it hurts. Because more expenses are bound to come up. The woman who will adopt him knows this. Well, the OP should ensure the woman is prepared for this. Poodles generally have long life spans; my neighbor's died at 15 and they can live to be older. This dog may have many more years left.

I know it's not an easy decision. I have two 13-year-old dogs and financially I simply don't know what I would do if they needed something expensive. One of them did have a melanoma removed a couple years back and I always fear it will return leaving me with a very difficult decision to make.

[sandra]

There are many factors that I didn't even discuss. With congestive heart failure already and all of his other problems, I don't think he would have a really long life span, but there is no way of knowing.

We were trying to hold off surgery because the vet had explained that there was a chance that after the surgery he could have urethral stricture ~ scar tissue that forms and essentially having the same consequenses as the kidney stone ~ blockage. Then what? More surgery? We didn't even get that far.

He took Lasix for his CHF. For years we have worked our schedule around him being able to take his pill and us being home to let him outside. It is difficult to plan to go anywhere for any length of time because pet sitters/boarders are not able to stay with him and let him in and out constantly for 3 -4 hours.

No one wanted to see him put to sleep. We have to believe that we made the best decision for his future and medical care.

[Triskeliongirl]

This will be my last post here because I don't want my point of view to make it harder on you... Seems the decision has been made. I'll just say in closing that if the vet just couldn't put him down, then he should have offered to do the surgery for free and give him back to you. Otherwise he should have done what you, the kind and thoughtful owners of the dog, had decided. I believe he is very wrong and unprofessional to take Bull home with him.

I really have to respectfully disagree with you. Even if he did do this surgery for free, what about the next one? He found someone willing to adopt this dog, despite all his medical issues, AFTER Sandra and her family agreed they could not do anymore. That is the kindest thing he could have done. And, why should he have done the surgery for free? Do you work for free?

[Aggie_Ama]

(((Sandra))) I think you made the right decision. One of my little Schnauzers is a retired breeder with all sorts of ailments. The medical bills can be overwhelming and many times I ask myself if this is last time I can come up with it. I should have known the breeder was lying about what she had been through. My mother being an animal lover but I realist has guided me to asking the vet how much and just honestly saying I can't (she went blind but I couldn't afford the doggie optometrist to tell me why). Although it hurts someone who knows what they are facing took him in. He can continue to be loved but you can stop having to wonder "How much more can we take?"

One a side note about the stones. Little dogs can dissolve them but if not they can't really pass them. My other Schnauzer (all 7 pounds of her) had one removed this year to the tune of $900!! But when I saw the thing I could see why she couldn't pass it, they look like lava stones and her's was the size of a thumbnail.

[makbike]

Sandra,

I worked in a clinic for years as a part-time assistant and as you can tell staff members become attached to client's animals, a bond forms.

The first year I worked in the clinic a man brought his great dand puppy in (6months old) with a broken femur and broken metatarsals. Along with the broken bones the puppy (Gus) has a massive bone infection. The vet and staff set about working on Gus to beat back the infection and over the course of several days bonds were formed. One day out the blue the owner came in and announced he would not spend any more money on Gus and he wanted him PTS My best friend, the attending vet, was crushed for she had fallen in love with Gus but could not take him home (she was renting at th time). After some thought I asked if I could adopt Gus - I would pay off the owner's current bill if he would sign the dog over to me. The owner agreed, the bill was taken care of by the owner of the clinic (he was a kind and compassionate man) and I came home with a large puppy. Gus was renamed Squire and he grew into a lanky, limping great dane. The two of us started visiting a local nurning home and hospital to cheer residents and patients up while they were sick or confined to bed. Squire had a short life, only 5 years, before bone cancer was discovered in his front leg. I had him PTS and he was surrounded by all the clinic staff - he was so loved and had touched so many lives during his short stay on Earth.

Please take heart in the fact that Bull will be loved a lot in his new home and by those at the clinic. You have made a very tough decision but one which will translate only into good things many times over for Bull, yourself, and the staff at the clinic.

[Triskeliongirl]

Sandra, rest easy tonight knowing that Bull is ALIVE, and someone is willing to continue to provide for his medical care. Of course you did the right thing.